Not sure how this whole thing works but I'm pretty much at the end of my rope and desperate for answers. My husband has been on again off again loving me not loving me. This has been going on for three years. He works on the road so I rarely see him. He told me he went to a shrink two days ago and it sounds like he is bipolar, which makes total sense. He goes from having an emotional affair ( although I'm sure it was much more) to begging me to take him back to lying about ending it with her. He also has every symptom of this too such as lying, spending money like crazy, gambling, big exaggerated stories, getting violent, extreme agitation, saying horribly mean and hurtful things, not following through with things etc. we have been married 18 years and had ups and downs but always very deeply in love. Now he tells me that he wants to get his old self back but has no feelings not just for me but even our kids. What's confusing is that I've seen how he can profess his undying love towards this other woman ( I saw secret Pinterest account between them) but can't show love and affection to me. He says it was his way of having a connection with someone he didn't have to have reality with. To me it sounded like he was deeply in love with her. This whole change in him came after both parents died three years ago around the same time. He has been very disconnected and distant for a long time although occasionally I see the loving man he used to be. My question to you is this just all his way of not wanting to hurt me by saying he doesn't love me anymore or is it really the bipolar taking over his mind??? It's so confusing and I never get any explanations from him. He can just be so cold and impossible with lying that I never know what is the real truth. Does he really think he's in love with someone he can't have a relationship with ( she's also married and supposedly loves her husband) or is he just messed up in his thoughts. I'm heartbroken and really struggling with how unfair this is on the spouses. He is not being treated as of yet since he has to have a physical ( complete body) before they will give him meds. This sucks, I feel like I'm losing not only my loving husband to a monster but also losing my mind. Any answers would be greatly appreciated.