Hello, im concerned with what I should look into for Borderline Personality disorder. I wanted to reference before I spoke to my dr. Ive been bi-polar, suicidal after multiple relationships, never as a threat. More to stop feeling. And when im not feeling, I feel empty lost, anxious. My spouse just had a child and is suffering from Post Partum and I am very afraid my anxiety and anger (Non_violent towards others, self harm acceptable) My mood swings are every two hours apart, agitation, also a severe case of sleep paralysis 1-2 times a month, full mental thought NO body functions whatsoever since I quit smoking marijuana. Please, just alittle advice or direction.. I feel like im reading someone elses map.. and I won t get anywhere unless I ask for help... for my wife and daughter. I don t like this roller coaster.. its miserable. Im tired of not having a set me.. I change, think differently, bog down and to someone who enjoys theirs wits and reflexs. Along with massive exhaustion, stupefication to a degree in which I feel dull and incapable of counting, staying on track even while taking my add meds which do help to a degree but not substantially enough to even dare touch how sad and upset in my gut I always am... always praying the next day I can love myself and them like that one day.. occasionally I snap back.. but if I am lucky I get one day. I don t know what to do, i ve hurt myself so many times just to feel something like alive. Never detrimental save the relationships and loss of loved ones.. those times I surround myself with friends and begin getting paranoid till anxiety destroys me from the inside.