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How Can Excessive Spending By A Partner On Therapy Be Dealt With?

Posted on Wed, 6 Sep 2017

Question: My wife's grandmother passed and had been covering my wife's weekly therapy visit's. She was very well off however left my wife no money after her passing. My wife asked if I can cover the bill's At $250.00. I only make $70k a year salary and said there is no way. She was extremely upset and thinks I don't care for her. Unfortunately I can't rationalize with her and explain that it's a lot of money because she has no concept of value if money and just assumes it's there if you need it. Are there any suggestions you might have on how to discuss money with a partner? She thinks I'm cheap, but I worry what she views as cheap is actually right on average for most couples. Any discussions about money get real heated quickly. Open to any suggestions, but I truly am not comfortable paying $12k a year on therapy phone calls even though she says she finally found a therapist that she likes. It is beyond frustrating.

Thanks!

Answered by Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (25 minutes later)

Brief Answer:
It need to be discussed straight way

Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for using Healthcaremagic.

I read your query and understand your concerns.

From the posted query it seems to me that you need a sort of financial planner but I am a psychiatrist and will try my level best to help you.

First of all I feel there is need to make a detailed plan of year. Make the list of earnings and expenses in a comparative table. Even exaggerating the expenses is ok as you need to deal with inflation as well as acute unplanned expenses. By this tell her that it is not possible to cover 12 K therapy session XXXXXXX in a year when you make just 70 K.

Secondly discuss the option of partial reimbursement of bills. Inform her that since there is limited income I will cover one in three or most two sessions and rest she need to cover with her income or savings or... By this you will ensure that she knows value of money to some extent if not fully.

Thirdly you can discuss to limit the expenses which is mostly on her side and some from your side. We know that we can cut some expenses and this need to be understood by her in proper discussion.

I hope this helps you.
Feel free to write back to me if you have more questions.
Thanks and regards.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar

Follow up: Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (6 hours later)

Dr. XXXXXXX

Thanks so much your response. You have truly helped me I believe.

Kind regards,
XXXXXXX

Answered by Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (2 hours later)

Brief Answer:
You are always welcome

Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
Thanks for your feedback.

I am glad to know that the answer was helpful to you although I was not confident for same.

If you have any further query, I would be glad to help you.
In future, if you wish to ask any more questions, you can use the below-mentioned link to contact me.

http://doctor.healthcaremagic.com/doctors/dr-ashok-kumar/67386

Thanks and regards.

Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar