How Does One Handle Anger In Pre-teenagers?
Can develop into ODD if unattended
Detailed Answer:
Hi,
I have read your grandchilds history. Yes he does have anger management issues. Based on your description, as he is still excellent in his projects at school, he has still not progressed to ODD. But might do so if anger issues are not attended to.
There are three ways to deal with anger
1. Denial
2. Expression
3. Forgiveness.
Teach your grandchild about the benefits of forgiveness and proper expression of anger. Over expression of anger or misdirected anger can be harmful. If he is God fearing, telling him God forgives everyone with anger might help.
If anger is over expressed or misdirected do punish him. Punishment includes making him run, stopping his favorite shows, foods, etc.
There are few reasons why anger develops at this age
1. Selfishness by the child because of permissive parenting. Parents nowadays ask child's permission for anything even like which movie,etc. Never do so, never be a dictator too. Some rules have to be ordered and child has to follow them at school and at home. Failure to obey the rules should be attended then and there with appropriate punishment. Many parents don't do this, and child becomes selfish and adamant as they grow.
2. Anger in parents
This seems to be OK in your grandchilds case.
3. Sibling rivalry
Again the jealousy towards younger sibling especially if parents are too permissive, may create anger and frustration. Try not differentiating siblings with respect to love care, Food, toys, gadgets. Give them equally.
Diversion techniques like yoga, meditation, swimming, cycling, etc can help him vent his anger harmlessly.
Praise but never over praise, punish if he does break the rules. I hope these tips will help.
Wishing him good health
Regards
Dr Arun