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How To Cope With Emotions And Depression After A Break Up?
Question: My gf of 15 years wants to leave me I have no friends or family to talk to and I don't know how to cope
Brief Answer:
take help of a counsellor or therapist to talk to
Detailed Answer:
Hi, thanks for writing through HCM.
I have read your query and understood that a long term relationship is about to end.
In every relationship, there is mutual understanding and trust. If that is broken it will not last longer.
I cannot suggest much but you can take help of a counsellor or therapist and talk to him regarding your thoughts about it. It will help a lot.
Can I ask you some details, what is the actual problem in your relationship??
Waiting for the reply.
Wish you good health.
take help of a counsellor or therapist to talk to
Detailed Answer:
Hi, thanks for writing through HCM.
I have read your query and understood that a long term relationship is about to end.
In every relationship, there is mutual understanding and trust. If that is broken it will not last longer.
I cannot suggest much but you can take help of a counsellor or therapist and talk to him regarding your thoughts about it. It will help a lot.
Can I ask you some details, what is the actual problem in your relationship??
Waiting for the reply.
Wish you good health.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Shanthi.E
It is a long tern relationship as well she is the only person in my life i dont have anyone else around me i live with her shes not leaving and i dont want her to either she works with me for 4months of the year i feel like the people around me at work are against me should i quit i need help please
Brief Answer:
Your query is ambiguous.
Detailed Answer:
Hi, thanks for writing again.
From what I understood earlier, you said she wants to end the relationship. But now you say that she is not leaving. I am confused a bit. Please clarify your question. Perhaps you can answer the following questions to clarify the issue?
1. Do you mean that she doesn't wants to end the relationship but she is going away from you?
2. Do you really feel that the co-workers are against you? Have you witnessed it your self?
3. What do they speak about you?
4. What is your girlfriend's opinion about this?
5. Do you hear voices talking about you at your workplace?
6. Why do you live alone? where is your family?
7. Do you like to socialize, to talk with others, to make new friends?
If she wants to leave you, so there must be a reason. What is the reason? Have you asked her?
Give answers to above questions. Waiting for your reply.
Your query is ambiguous.
Detailed Answer:
Hi, thanks for writing again.
From what I understood earlier, you said she wants to end the relationship. But now you say that she is not leaving. I am confused a bit. Please clarify your question. Perhaps you can answer the following questions to clarify the issue?
1. Do you mean that she doesn't wants to end the relationship but she is going away from you?
2. Do you really feel that the co-workers are against you? Have you witnessed it your self?
3. What do they speak about you?
4. What is your girlfriend's opinion about this?
5. Do you hear voices talking about you at your workplace?
6. Why do you live alone? where is your family?
7. Do you like to socialize, to talk with others, to make new friends?
If she wants to leave you, so there must be a reason. What is the reason? Have you asked her?
Give answers to above questions. Waiting for your reply.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Prasad
1. She wants to end relationship but she still lives with me.2. She tells me everyone is talking about our relationship and everyone at work hates me. I have not witnessed but shes told me this for almost a year. 3. I dont know4. I dont understand 5. No voices6. I live 5000 km away from family we moved toghether for work reasons. 7. I had one friend i confided in asked advice vented to but he betrayed me and was telling my girlfriend everyything i was saying. As well he made up lies based on things i said to him. My girlfriend says she doesnt love me anymore. She has cheated on me on numerous occassions in our relationship. I always forgive i love her so much. Ive told her white lies to avoid fights because she is very jealous. She said i didnt give her what she needed. She always said i need to change im trying i always asked her what i needed to do to make things better she would always say i should know by now but i just didint know. I always wanted to go to counseling with her but she said i need the help. She is my entire world i know that probably not helthy but its true i dont know what to do i can give u a lot more details just ask. I know im not perfect i dont want this to sound one sided because i know im not right in the head
Brief Answer:
Relationship is a mutual understanding
Detailed Answer:
Hi, thanks for writing again.
First of all i want to say few words:
1. Relationship is a mutual understanding between two persons.
2. If you both have a live in relationship then everyone would talk about your relationship, there is no doubt in it. It is expected. Why you both didn't get married?
3. If there is no planning regarding marriage then what is the meaning of living together. Just living together without any emotional or legal bond would result in break up most of the time.
4. If she does not love you, then you can not force her to love you again.
5. Everyone has different philosophy of living and personality. Nobody can change this.
6. If she is not faithful then why do you need her? she will do this in future also.
7. She is jealous, unfaithful, does not love you. Now you should tell me, why do you want to trust her, love her, rely on her? She is not your life, remove this from your mind.
8. If she wants you to change then she does not love you in first place. Love doesn't ask for a change. She should love you the way you are. You should not take all the blame on you.
In everyone's life, there will be a turning point, where one should be able to or learn to let go.
I here suggest you to go for counseling alone, if she doesn't want to come with you, it's fine. You need psychological support to handle this situation. You can visit your home. Your family can help you. Breaking this relationship is not the end of your life. God knows what will be there for you tomorrow. You have whole life in front of you. You may find suitable and better partner. Be optimistic, do not ruin your life for a person that does not love you or care for you.
Hope I have answered your query. If you do not have further query then close the discussion and rate the answer.
Wish you good health and better life.
Relationship is a mutual understanding
Detailed Answer:
Hi, thanks for writing again.
First of all i want to say few words:
1. Relationship is a mutual understanding between two persons.
2. If you both have a live in relationship then everyone would talk about your relationship, there is no doubt in it. It is expected. Why you both didn't get married?
3. If there is no planning regarding marriage then what is the meaning of living together. Just living together without any emotional or legal bond would result in break up most of the time.
4. If she does not love you, then you can not force her to love you again.
5. Everyone has different philosophy of living and personality. Nobody can change this.
6. If she is not faithful then why do you need her? she will do this in future also.
7. She is jealous, unfaithful, does not love you. Now you should tell me, why do you want to trust her, love her, rely on her? She is not your life, remove this from your mind.
8. If she wants you to change then she does not love you in first place. Love doesn't ask for a change. She should love you the way you are. You should not take all the blame on you.
In everyone's life, there will be a turning point, where one should be able to or learn to let go.
I here suggest you to go for counseling alone, if she doesn't want to come with you, it's fine. You need psychological support to handle this situation. You can visit your home. Your family can help you. Breaking this relationship is not the end of your life. God knows what will be there for you tomorrow. You have whole life in front of you. You may find suitable and better partner. Be optimistic, do not ruin your life for a person that does not love you or care for you.
Hope I have answered your query. If you do not have further query then close the discussion and rate the answer.
Wish you good health and better life.
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Vaishalee Punj
Answered by
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