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How To Deal With A Partner With Commitment Issues?

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Posted on Mon, 21 Dec 2015
Question: I am 22.he is 27.my sister's friend.met him through outing 6months back.I am usually practical and he said he wish his wife would be like me.Started...flirting..sex chats..he s not at all physically attractive..I could not say no when he started sex chatting,sending nudes.I did send quarter nudes without my face or any personal areas showing.he loved me to bits.mentally,physically,he was very much attracted to me.Started meeting him.at his residence. bj,kiss,cuddles.Never had sex.I said i only want to have it with my husband.He always gave me my space there.He asked me thrice if I will marry him.I said no because he has caste-feeling.He left a girl he loved for 2yrs,because she s not his caste.We dont belong to same caste.I can see that happening.he repeated that he would want to move in with me,but I said cant.He loved my bjs,kisses,cuddles.I can see that he was getting addicted to me.Suddenly after 3months,he says he is searching for matches among his community to marry.Shattered me.After that,we met again.had bj,kiss,cuddles. But this time I could nt focus.He asked why and I blurted out I am marriage-material.I have never done this way with any guy.(Didnt tell my emotions fully.)He understood and gave me my space.Gap of 2weeks. He came back and wanting to sex chat again. IS he mental or what? I just told him I cant do this with a guy who is looking at others to marry.He says-''Yes.I ll obviously not marry you.But we can just meet as friends.'' And he comes back and tries sex chatting again.He is making me mad. His parents are fixing him a match now and its breaking me. He still wants to meet me JUST as a friend.I dont know if he ll start sex again. I will miss him a lot again :'( .I just had heart break last year. A man led me on and left me to marry another girl because of family obligations. Now him.After that,I started focusing on my life and came back to normal-with the stress started, rosacea ,period irregularties etc.Even initially he would be very emotional with me and tell me how much I mean to him etc.In between had a huge fight and I scolded him real bad. He said its all over with us and then I had to get some info from him and started speaking again and he was talking sex again. he said he wont now that he s liking girls his parents bringing for him,then he wants to sex chat with him.He said when we were not on speaking terms,he lost interest in porn and could not even masturbate for month and half and he suffered a lot mentally..For other details,he fucked 2girls and other stuff with 10 other girls ( he says) before 4yrs..in between,he also told me I am the only girl he adores and ever will ,he does not even know if he will love his wife that much.i know I have to leave him someday for my good. But what is he even thinking? Did he mean any of that?any of that lovey dovey stuff he told me?
doctor
Answered by Dr. Tushar Kanti Biswas (5 hours later)
Brief Answer:
Relationship,marriage and other issues.

Detailed Answer:
Hi,

Thank you for your query. I can understand your concerns.

This is a relationship issue.It seems that your are not yet married.If he is really attracted to you,caste prejudice should be overcome.However it seems that your boy friend has many other girl friends with casual sex etc.To choose this kind of person as your life-partner would be risky.

As far as physical ailment is concerned,you have mentioned about rosacea.
Often, individuals with rosacea demonstrate flushing reaction in response to emotional stimuli(mental stress).Mild disease often responds to topical azaleic acid.

You need consult a Gynecologist for your menstrual irregularities.

You have mentioned that you do Yoga,meditation.Please continue that .It will enhance your inner strength and you will likely to take correct decision about healthy relationship.






Regards

Dr. T.K. Biswas M.D. XXXXXXX

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Vinay Bhardwaj
doctor
Answered by
Dr.
Dr. Tushar Kanti Biswas

Internal Medicine Specialist

Practicing since :1975

Answered : 1920 Questions

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How To Deal With A Partner With Commitment Issues?

Brief Answer: Relationship,marriage and other issues. Detailed Answer: Hi, Thank you for your query. I can understand your concerns. This is a relationship issue.It seems that your are not yet married.If he is really attracted to you,caste prejudice should be overcome.However it seems that your boy friend has many other girl friends with casual sex etc.To choose this kind of person as your life-partner would be risky. As far as physical ailment is concerned,you have mentioned about rosacea. Often, individuals with rosacea demonstrate flushing reaction in response to emotional stimuli(mental stress).Mild disease often responds to topical azaleic acid. You need consult a Gynecologist for your menstrual irregularities. You have mentioned that you do Yoga,meditation.Please continue that .It will enhance your inner strength and you will likely to take correct decision about healthy relationship. Regards Dr. T.K. Biswas M.D. XXXXXXX