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How To Deal With Children Who Refuse To Go To School?
Question: Hi,
My 2yr 10months old Son suddenly started refusing to go to his daycare. He would cry a lot when while leaving him. When again taking him back he would want to leave the school premise ASAP.
Prior to this he was well settled and did not cry and was looking forward to go to school.
I spoke to another parent and her previously well settled son also started crying and did not want to be taken to school.
The teachers were the same.
There were multiple things that happened.
1. His grand parents had come to stay with us,
2. Esh (my son had lots of new toys)
I took a break from his play school day care...and he joined his new formal school.
He is well settled and happy going to his formal school. actually looks forward to being there.
Now when i ask him visit his play school...he again refuses very strongly.
Now i need your help/suggestion on few things
1. Should i probe my child to know more about what happened or what he disliked about his play school?
2. If yes then please suggest how can i get to know or discover the problem.
3. how can i make him more comfortable and help him understand that we are there to take care of problem that faces. teach him the life skill of realizing the wrong behavior of others and handling it.
I felt posting my concern to your specialization more near to problem, if that's not right then suggestion on can help will great.
Thanks,
XXXX
My 2yr 10months old Son suddenly started refusing to go to his daycare. He would cry a lot when while leaving him. When again taking him back he would want to leave the school premise ASAP.
Prior to this he was well settled and did not cry and was looking forward to go to school.
I spoke to another parent and her previously well settled son also started crying and did not want to be taken to school.
The teachers were the same.
There were multiple things that happened.
1. His grand parents had come to stay with us,
2. Esh (my son had lots of new toys)
I took a break from his play school day care...and he joined his new formal school.
He is well settled and happy going to his formal school. actually looks forward to being there.
Now when i ask him visit his play school...he again refuses very strongly.
Now i need your help/suggestion on few things
1. Should i probe my child to know more about what happened or what he disliked about his play school?
2. If yes then please suggest how can i get to know or discover the problem.
3. how can i make him more comfortable and help him understand that we are there to take care of problem that faces. teach him the life skill of realizing the wrong behavior of others and handling it.
I felt posting my concern to your specialization more near to problem, if that's not right then suggestion on can help will great.
Thanks,
XXXX
Brief Answer:
yes you should probe your child politely
Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for writing to us. I can understand your concern. As such in 2.9 year old child there can be many reasons for not attending school.
Considering history you should try to look in to matter in following way.
- First of all meet his teachers and discuss the matter.
- Also discuss the matter with other parents.
- Discuss with his grandparents that they have noticed any change in him or your son has disclosed any reason to them for not attending school.
- Take your baby in confidence when you are at home (by playing with him or communicating him what he likes). Gradually ask name of his teachers and friends at school. If he communicates well, ask him would he like to go to school tomorrow with one of the friends he named. If he denies try to ask what is the reason for not attending school - did anybody beat him/scold him/harass him/misbehave with him/scared of someone? You should ask in language what he can understand. If he refused to talk, leave the matter for a time and later on try again with another person (his father or grandparent or someone else to whom he is attached more).
- Later on you can teach about bad touch through videos available on internet.
- Keep some possibility in mind that some wrong thing might have happened but simultaneously no need to be over suspicious as many children refuses to go to school without any reason as they do not like.
- Revert back to me with the information you get after above approach attempt.
Hope I have answered your query, I will be happy to help further.
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.
yes you should probe your child politely
Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for writing to us. I can understand your concern. As such in 2.9 year old child there can be many reasons for not attending school.
Considering history you should try to look in to matter in following way.
- First of all meet his teachers and discuss the matter.
- Also discuss the matter with other parents.
- Discuss with his grandparents that they have noticed any change in him or your son has disclosed any reason to them for not attending school.
- Take your baby in confidence when you are at home (by playing with him or communicating him what he likes). Gradually ask name of his teachers and friends at school. If he communicates well, ask him would he like to go to school tomorrow with one of the friends he named. If he denies try to ask what is the reason for not attending school - did anybody beat him/scold him/harass him/misbehave with him/scared of someone? You should ask in language what he can understand. If he refused to talk, leave the matter for a time and later on try again with another person (his father or grandparent or someone else to whom he is attached more).
- Later on you can teach about bad touch through videos available on internet.
- Keep some possibility in mind that some wrong thing might have happened but simultaneously no need to be over suspicious as many children refuses to go to school without any reason as they do not like.
- Revert back to me with the information you get after above approach attempt.
Hope I have answered your query, I will be happy to help further.
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Thanks for your response, I will try your suggestion and will get back.
Regards,
XXXX
Regards,
XXXX
Brief Answer:
you are welcome
Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
You are welcome.
Later on you can get back through follow up or can contact me directly with following link:
http://bit.ly/drchintansolanki
by clicking on 'Ask me a question' on same page with three follow up questions.
Take care and all the best.
you are welcome
Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
You are welcome.
Later on you can get back through follow up or can contact me directly with following link:
http://bit.ly/drchintansolanki
by clicking on 'Ask me a question' on same page with three follow up questions.
Take care and all the best.
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Arnab Banerjee
Answered by
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