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How To Deal With Visual Hallucinations Of Deceased Partner And Progressive Isolation?
Question: My father inlaw lost his wife 4 1/2 months ago. Taking No Meds. 85 yrs old. Married 63 yrs. he's now seeing his wife but she doesn't speak,also think children are sleeping in bedroom. My husband showed him no children in bed. He goes brings his flowers everyday to cemetery. We live 2 hrs away try to see him often. My husband calls him every day. His daughter in town checks on him couple times a week. He lives alone. Hasent been to Med. Dr. In many years. Can't get him to go. Very stubborn. Most of the time he seems normal then he talks about the kids ( meaning grand or great grandkids) sleeping in bedroom. Do you think this is just grieving process ?
Brief Answer:
it is no longer normal because of the long time since the loss!
Detailed Answer:
Hi and thank you so much for this query.
I am so sorry to hear about this loss and the difficult times your father has been going through. Loosing a dear one after so many years of marriage is never easy. His symptoms would have been normal grief if this was under 3months. However, at 41/2months, it is not normal and he needs help. I understand he doesn’t want to but you really need to somehow get him there. Let an old good friend of his or your late mother talk to him on the importance of getting help from the doctors.
I hope this helps. I wish you well. Thanks for using our services and do feel free to ask for more information and clarifications if need be.
it is no longer normal because of the long time since the loss!
Detailed Answer:
Hi and thank you so much for this query.
I am so sorry to hear about this loss and the difficult times your father has been going through. Loosing a dear one after so many years of marriage is never easy. His symptoms would have been normal grief if this was under 3months. However, at 41/2months, it is not normal and he needs help. I understand he doesn’t want to but you really need to somehow get him there. Let an old good friend of his or your late mother talk to him on the importance of getting help from the doctors.
I hope this helps. I wish you well. Thanks for using our services and do feel free to ask for more information and clarifications if need be.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
I was mistaken. Not quite 4 months since my mother in law passed. I read where the grieving process can take up to 2 years. We will keep trying to get him to see a med Dr. But how can you say a couple married 63 years ,where the last 10 years they have done everything together, meals baseball games, attending church. My father inlaw cared for her an had to cook all her meals. An your saying he shouldn't have anymore grieving ?
Brief Answer:
Grieving is normal, but not to the extend of being unable to function!
Detailed Answer:
Hi,
Grieving after the death of a dear one is normal. I expect him to grieve for longer periods because of how much time they have been together and how much they did together. However, it should not prevent him from functioning normal. At this time, I will say there is no emergency. But for the duration, he has not terrible thoughts like taking away his life or refusing to eat, etc. Continue with dialogue, talk to him and get him to see the doctor just to make sure there is nothing we are not picking up from him.
If it were possible, I will suggest he doesn’t stay alone at this time. He needs social support and distraction from others in the house. Otherwise, he will spend all his time thinking about his late wife and you cannot prevent him from grieving even more.
I hope this helps. Let me know what you thoughts are and if there is anything more u will likes to talk on at this time.
Grieving is normal, but not to the extend of being unable to function!
Detailed Answer:
Hi,
Grieving after the death of a dear one is normal. I expect him to grieve for longer periods because of how much time they have been together and how much they did together. However, it should not prevent him from functioning normal. At this time, I will say there is no emergency. But for the duration, he has not terrible thoughts like taking away his life or refusing to eat, etc. Continue with dialogue, talk to him and get him to see the doctor just to make sure there is nothing we are not picking up from him.
If it were possible, I will suggest he doesn’t stay alone at this time. He needs social support and distraction from others in the house. Otherwise, he will spend all his time thinking about his late wife and you cannot prevent him from grieving even more.
I hope this helps. Let me know what you thoughts are and if there is anything more u will likes to talk on at this time.
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Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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