
How To Handle A Sensitive, Emotional, Dominant And Always Stressed Out Spouse?

Possible and surely possible
Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXX
Welcome to HCM
We understand your concerns.
I went through the description. Description is very much exhaustive. I am emotionally moved. I can understand what transpires inside your mind. The kids (not so kids) did no sin, you did no sin, and somehow you four are not getting the love from the female head of family. That part is really sorrowful.
From the description, from your version, your wife seems to be sensitive, emotional, dominant and stressed out always. Mind you, all these four characteristics are detailed as four personality types by catell's 16 personality factor description. I shall say all the negative aspects of these four personality types combines together in your wife.
But I do see some positive attitudes in your wife. As you mention, she is a good mother. She is emotionally attached to her children, even though she does not show it. During certain circumstances she should be humble and accommodating. Tough minded and insensitive attitude do comes handy and positive at so many places and circumstances. I also see her patience level other than something not related to you. All the above positives (of course there shall be more and more) are part of the above mentioned personality types, and they are good.
Somehow, she is not able to fit with you. The problem is not your attitude. I can surely confirm. You or your attitude is not the problem here. The problem is her perception or understanding of you. Somehow she is always in confronting mood. Possibly only with you.
I suggest you analyze her attitudes with other people who frequently comes across in her life. Analyze with how many people associated with her, she behaves as she behaves with you. Also see, how irritant she is. How emotional she is. You already told that the children do not have any problem with her. Find out why? Love sees no sex or age. Collect all these data. These data shall come handy in future.
I sincerely think that the problems between you and your wife can be sorted out if tried sincerely. Family life is full of ups and downs. Almost 95% people get along and only 5% seek divorce in undeveloped countries. That is mainly because they value the values.
Mutual Understanding, mutual trust, love and affection are the key ingredients of any successful family life. If these are available then the life shall be perfect. I think you should talk to your wife once again (again and again). Convince her somehow. Take help of psychological counselors. Marriage therapists. Family friends. Everyone can be of assistance. Once you collect the data, the task shall be easy for you.
Get things moving. You have all the time in the world. Patience pays. I shall assure you that there is nothing you cannot solve through dialogue process even between foes. Here we are talking family. Possible and surely possible.
You can contact me with collected details in your follow through. Start the dialogue process and come back.
I wish good luck.
God bless you.

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