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How To Take Matured Decisions In Personal Life?
Question: Dear Sir,
I have the following problem:
i used to feel once its go out of from me .
Example , one girl loved me almost 3 years and i never bother about her .after 3 year,one point of time ,She was stopped to contact me and changed her all her contact details and not like to hear even my voice .after that i feel very bad and i started to love her, but she told she is very happy without me and informed me not to disturb. But i suffered into depression like anything and still her thoughts are disturbing me and i cant forget her thoughts and her love which showed me during 3 years.
now, due to situation i got married .Again, i am not bothering about my wife and making her to feel always. since not able to show my love or care to her. She almost fed up and went to her parents home. Once i heard that ,she also left and she is not going to come back , i fall into feel about her thoughts and love. This is my second incident.
not only this, i used to feel more once loose it may relationship or job or material .
What is this ? will this any severe problem to me mentally ? is this any mental disorder ? Please help.
.
I have the following problem:
i used to feel once its go out of from me .
Example , one girl loved me almost 3 years and i never bother about her .after 3 year,one point of time ,She was stopped to contact me and changed her all her contact details and not like to hear even my voice .after that i feel very bad and i started to love her, but she told she is very happy without me and informed me not to disturb. But i suffered into depression like anything and still her thoughts are disturbing me and i cant forget her thoughts and her love which showed me during 3 years.
now, due to situation i got married .Again, i am not bothering about my wife and making her to feel always. since not able to show my love or care to her. She almost fed up and went to her parents home. Once i heard that ,she also left and she is not going to come back , i fall into feel about her thoughts and love. This is my second incident.
not only this, i used to feel more once loose it may relationship or job or material .
What is this ? will this any severe problem to me mentally ? is this any mental disorder ? Please help.
.
Brief Answer:
Its not a mental disorder
Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
Thanks for using healthcaremagic.
I read your query with interest and found that what you are experiencing is immaturity and lot need to done to improve your thought process. I can say that this is not a problem at all but if continued in similar way it can have significant impact on your relationship and personal life.
You are aware that once we loss something, we know the value of it. It is not a isolated phenomenon and occurs to almost everyone in our life. For example when your wife was with you, you did not realize her value and since she left you for her parents home you are experiencing guilt phenomenon.
I advise you to do the following things
1. Repeatedly introspect your dealing with loved ones and significant ones in your life. Just try to understand that what you are doing is the right thing or is there is any scope of improvement. Once you realize that there is need to improvement start working on that.
2. Try to imagine the worst condition. For example just imagine that what will happen if some one dies or leaves you or what you will do for them. Try to do the same thing when they are around you.
3. Use sorry for your mistake or abnormal behavior.
4. Devote some time for special ones no matter how busy you are.
5. Think that everyone has emotions and try to respect emotion of others.
Hope I am able to answer your concerns.
If you have any further query, I would be glad to help you.
If not, you may close the discussion and if possible you may rate the answer for me, so that I get a good feedback
Thanks and regards
Dr Ashok
Its not a mental disorder
Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
Thanks for using healthcaremagic.
I read your query with interest and found that what you are experiencing is immaturity and lot need to done to improve your thought process. I can say that this is not a problem at all but if continued in similar way it can have significant impact on your relationship and personal life.
You are aware that once we loss something, we know the value of it. It is not a isolated phenomenon and occurs to almost everyone in our life. For example when your wife was with you, you did not realize her value and since she left you for her parents home you are experiencing guilt phenomenon.
I advise you to do the following things
1. Repeatedly introspect your dealing with loved ones and significant ones in your life. Just try to understand that what you are doing is the right thing or is there is any scope of improvement. Once you realize that there is need to improvement start working on that.
2. Try to imagine the worst condition. For example just imagine that what will happen if some one dies or leaves you or what you will do for them. Try to do the same thing when they are around you.
3. Use sorry for your mistake or abnormal behavior.
4. Devote some time for special ones no matter how busy you are.
5. Think that everyone has emotions and try to respect emotion of others.
Hope I am able to answer your concerns.
If you have any further query, I would be glad to help you.
If not, you may close the discussion and if possible you may rate the answer for me, so that I get a good feedback
Thanks and regards
Dr Ashok
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Ashwin Bhandari
Thanks.but I am not even loving 1%.even she pregnant I am not happy and pray god to not to pregnent. If she not we'll I used to not care.but she is overpossive on me.hence every day we have fight.And once she come back again to talk aguan my love gone. After sex my love goes to - side.I am not have any other love feeling also
But my said to marry another girl and she may as per my wish.totally upset and feel to die.please guide me
But my said to marry another girl and she may as per my wish.totally upset and feel to die.please guide me
Brief Answer:
You can get appointment for marital counseling
Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
Welcome back to Healthcaremagic.
From the available description it appears to me that you are not prepared to welcome a baby in your house. At the same time you seems to be undecided in your personal choices. I doubt that you were ready even for marriage with your current wife. You seems to be one who wait for something which they never try to know.
In such case you can seek help of a counselor. They are well trained in understanding your though process and have ability to apply some remedial measures. You need to set a dialogue with your wife in presence of counselor so next course of action can be decided.
As she is fulfilling your sex needs and being an XXXXXXX system it is unlikely to result in divorce no matter relationship in between both of you.
What I suggested you earlier holds true and I hope regular practice of that strategies will help you in long run.
Thanks and regards
You can get appointment for marital counseling
Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
Welcome back to Healthcaremagic.
From the available description it appears to me that you are not prepared to welcome a baby in your house. At the same time you seems to be undecided in your personal choices. I doubt that you were ready even for marriage with your current wife. You seems to be one who wait for something which they never try to know.
In such case you can seek help of a counselor. They are well trained in understanding your though process and have ability to apply some remedial measures. You need to set a dialogue with your wife in presence of counselor so next course of action can be decided.
As she is fulfilling your sex needs and being an XXXXXXX system it is unlikely to result in divorce no matter relationship in between both of you.
What I suggested you earlier holds true and I hope regular practice of that strategies will help you in long run.
Thanks and regards
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Vinay Bhardwaj
Sir thanks and your points are correct.actually I married her only by force . I also accepted due to sex that we had before marriage. But I am not having any interest to marry her. Only her force I married and now both are suffering.I need your guidance based our current situation that shall we apply for divorce?Or still we have scope to live togetherness with love in long life.our both parents are fighting because of us .some time I can't imagine she will marry another person and some time I feel both need to separate for happy life.not able to take any decision and requested her to wait for 6 month to decide.since I can't be a good lovable husband she is also getting more angry and doubting my character.so she got bad name from my family.she can't control herself
and attended subside also one time.we also met counselled with help of psychiatric nay timrsc but no use.is that any possility to live happy life together or shall we separate. Mistake is my side or both side.since due to our mistake both family are suffering .please guide. Based on your guidance I have to take further step.thanks for helping me and feel getting guidance from God. Its I feel it from my heart.
and attended subside also one time.we also met counselled with help of psychiatric nay timrsc but no use.is that any possility to live happy life together or shall we separate. Mistake is my side or both side.since due to our mistake both family are suffering .please guide. Based on your guidance I have to take further step.thanks for helping me and feel getting guidance from God. Its I feel it from my heart.
Brief Answer:
It can not be decided after listening one side
Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
Thanks for reverting back to me.
Please be aware that I am not a relationship expert and can not decide after listening one side of story. I am of the belief that there is always some scope no matter the level of differences between individuals.
If it is possible for you to see me in person along with your wife, than only I can guide you in this matter. This kind of issues in XXXXXXX can not be decided one sided and lot of consideration need to make before filing divorce or separation. With this information I can not say whether she feels in the same way.
I hope you understand my limitation as we did not have direct talk and direct consultation.
Thanks and regards
Dr Ashok
It can not be decided after listening one side
Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
Thanks for reverting back to me.
Please be aware that I am not a relationship expert and can not decide after listening one side of story. I am of the belief that there is always some scope no matter the level of differences between individuals.
If it is possible for you to see me in person along with your wife, than only I can guide you in this matter. This kind of issues in XXXXXXX can not be decided one sided and lot of consideration need to make before filing divorce or separation. With this information I can not say whether she feels in the same way.
I hope you understand my limitation as we did not have direct talk and direct consultation.
Thanks and regards
Dr Ashok
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Vinay Bhardwaj
sir thank you.
She also fed up with me and said going to separate from from for happy life.But she said not going to marry any one and going to live alone.
from beginning we hare sufferinf on the same way. from last 2 years m,arraige life, we are not able to mingle even one day with happy life.
My mind always said to separate from her. But once she left and foud she is not for me, than i feel for her.
I do not want fall like waht i had with first love. i totally confused.
Will i able to live with my wife with love for long run?
or shall we separate?
Am i right person to live this world or shall i quite?
since both parents are suffering like anything because of us.
but i feel i can be happy with another girl? will this right?
I am not able tp take any decision? i am near to bangalore? will i able to visit you personnly? whre are you from?
Please calrify .
She also fed up with me and said going to separate from from for happy life.But she said not going to marry any one and going to live alone.
from beginning we hare sufferinf on the same way. from last 2 years m,arraige life, we are not able to mingle even one day with happy life.
My mind always said to separate from her. But once she left and foud she is not for me, than i feel for her.
I do not want fall like waht i had with first love. i totally confused.
Will i able to live with my wife with love for long run?
or shall we separate?
Am i right person to live this world or shall i quite?
since both parents are suffering like anything because of us.
but i feel i can be happy with another girl? will this right?
I am not able tp take any decision? i am near to bangalore? will i able to visit you personnly? whre are you from?
Please calrify .
Brief Answer:
Nothing is impossible
Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
Weleome back to Healthcaremagic.
I live in XXXXXXX and you can visit me if you want. I like to tell you there are multiple number of relationship experts in XXXXXXX and you do not need to travel to XXXXXXX
I am generally an optimistic and feel that there is always scope for improvement in life. I do not think you can not live with each other. Feeling of love once she left you indicates that you love her by heart but no able to forego your ego which is interfering in your personal life.
Having said this marriage is not about remaining happy at cost of other partner. It is aimed to make your partner happy and in return you get love and care which you need. Once you start showering your love on her she will feel better with you and will respond in similar way.
If she is pregnant that indicates still you get intimate with her and getting preparation for new baby will take your relationship to new level in positive side.
The most important thing that you have done is getting out for help. This is the most significant thing to repair one's relationship and you command congratulations. You need to continue these efforts in near future.
"If you do not have any clarifications, you can close the discussion and rate the answer.
Wish you good health".
Nothing is impossible
Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
Weleome back to Healthcaremagic.
I live in XXXXXXX and you can visit me if you want. I like to tell you there are multiple number of relationship experts in XXXXXXX and you do not need to travel to XXXXXXX
I am generally an optimistic and feel that there is always scope for improvement in life. I do not think you can not live with each other. Feeling of love once she left you indicates that you love her by heart but no able to forego your ego which is interfering in your personal life.
Having said this marriage is not about remaining happy at cost of other partner. It is aimed to make your partner happy and in return you get love and care which you need. Once you start showering your love on her she will feel better with you and will respond in similar way.
If she is pregnant that indicates still you get intimate with her and getting preparation for new baby will take your relationship to new level in positive side.
The most important thing that you have done is getting out for help. This is the most significant thing to repair one's relationship and you command congratulations. You need to continue these efforts in near future.
"If you do not have any clarifications, you can close the discussion and rate the answer.
Wish you good health".
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Bhagyalaxmi Nalaparaju
Answered by
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