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I Am A Young Man, And I Finished Losing 30

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Posted on Fri, 14 Aug 2020
Question: I am a young man, and I finished losing 30 pounds about a week ago. Previously, I had been 230 pounds, but I am now down to 200 pounds. I did this for my health, but it has caused me to get extra attention from women that I was not accustomed to. A woman at my job who had previously ignored me basically approached me. When my back was turned, she bumped into me very hard and when I turned around, she had a huge smile. There was another time when she held doors open for me at work, and she was sitting near me at work and because I was fidgeting in my chair trying to get comfortable, she got up and offered me hers.

Despite the fact that she treats me like this now (and obviously wants to be intimate with me), I have this bitterness for her (and some other women who have changed the way that they are treating me). It is hard for me to accept them, date them, etc., because I am not accustomed to being treated this way. The entire way I am being treated by women has literally changed in the past week. It seems that 200 poundswas some sort of magic number. I didn't realize I looked so much better until I woke up one morning about a week ago , and my body just felt so light. That lightness translates to the way I look, and women are just treating me so much better. All this attention is very weird, especially during COVID-19 nowadays where I prefer to basically avoid people.

I once dreamed about having relationships with beautiful, attractive women, but now that I actually have the opportunity to do it, I just feel so objectified. I feel like I have not had time to mentally shift from being fat in my mind to being slim. I was always chubby growing up, so I never got this sort of attention and I am not accustomed to it. I really just don't know how to deal with it and feel like something is wrong with me because I can't embrace this new treatment. I think the issue now is that, without quite as much weight, women are more willing to sleep with me. I am only 5'4, so 200 pounds is not all that skinny, but it is a weight that a lot of women are used to having on top of them during sex.

What can I do, mentally, about my situation?
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Follow up: Dr. salah saad shoman (0 minute later)
I am a young man, and I finished losing 30 pounds about a week ago. Previously, I had been 230 pounds, but I am now down to 200 pounds. I did this for my health, but it has caused me to get extra attention from women that I was not accustomed to. A woman at my job who had previously ignored me basically approached me. When my back was turned, she bumped into me very hard and when I turned around, she had a huge smile. There was another time when she held doors open for me at work, and she was sitting near me at work and because I was fidgeting in my chair trying to get comfortable, she got up and offered me hers.

Despite the fact that she treats me like this now (and obviously wants to be intimate with me), I have this bitterness for her (and some other women who have changed the way that they are treating me). It is hard for me to accept them, date them, etc., because I am not accustomed to being treated this way. The entire way I am being treated by women has literally changed in the past week. It seems that 200 poundswas some sort of magic number. I didn't realize I looked so much better until I woke up one morning about a week ago , and my body just felt so light. That lightness translates to the way I look, and women are just treating me so much better. All this attention is very weird, especially during COVID-19 nowadays where I prefer to basically avoid people.

I once dreamed about having relationships with beautiful, attractive women, but now that I actually have the opportunity to do it, I just feel so objectified. I feel like I have not had time to mentally shift from being fat in my mind to being slim. I was always chubby growing up, so I never got this sort of attention and I am not accustomed to it. I really just don't know how to deal with it and feel like something is wrong with me because I can't embrace this new treatment. I think the issue now is that, without quite as much weight, women are more willing to sleep with me. I am only 5'4, so 200 pounds is not all that skinny, but it is a weight that a lot of women are used to having on top of them during sex.

What can I do, mentally, about my situation?
doctor
Answered by Dr. salah saad shoman (4 hours later)
Brief Answer:
Enjoy the extra privilege

Detailed Answer:
Dear sir, I have gone through your question and I understand your concerns. unfortunately most women are affected by how a man looks instead of being affected by his personality or actions. In my opinion women thinking that way are not suitable for long term relationships as they will change their mind about you every time your looks change..
However, since you have been losing weight for your own health, I can’t see why not enjoy the extra privilege of being attractive. I would recommend that you respond to women’s gestures and try to get in short term relationships with them. I hope you find this helpful
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Kampana
doctor
doctor
Answered by Dr. salah saad shoman (0 minute later)
Brief Answer:
Enjoy the extra privilege

Detailed Answer:
Dear sir, I have gone through your question and I understand your concerns. unfortunately most women are affected by how a man looks instead of being affected by his personality or actions. In my opinion women thinking that way are not suitable for long term relationships as they will change their mind about you every time your looks change..
However, since you have been losing weight for your own health, I can’t see why not enjoy the extra privilege of being attractive. I would recommend that you respond to women’s gestures and try to get in short term relationships with them. I hope you find this helpful
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Kampana
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. salah saad shoman (8 hours later)
I agree that I should pursue short term relationships. Since I never had the luxury of getting this type of attention in college (when I would have loved getting it), I may as well enjoy it now. But, my issue is that what happens when I go back to eating cheeseburgers, hoagies, etc and get some of this weight back? Will these women just stop sleeping with me or start fussing at me to lose weight?

Sex is draining and I am not going to hold my body up while I have sex. That is one reason why women want slimmer men because it is less weight.

How would you suggest I handle these concerns?
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Follow up: Dr. salah saad shoman (0 minute later)
I agree that I should pursue short term relationships. Since I never had the luxury of getting this type of attention in college (when I would have loved getting it), I may as well enjoy it now. But, my issue is that what happens when I go back to eating cheeseburgers, hoagies, etc and get some of this weight back? Will these women just stop sleeping with me or start fussing at me to lose weight?

Sex is draining and I am not going to hold my body up while I have sex. That is one reason why women want slimmer men because it is less weight.

How would you suggest I handle these concerns?
doctor
Answered by Dr. salah saad shoman (29 hours later)
Brief Answer:
Alternative sex positions

Detailed Answer:
Dear Sir, Hello again.

There is a lot of sex positions that doesn’t apply your weight over your partner...

However, I would not recommend that you go back to any unhealthy diet except once per week for your own health.. Also starting a relationship while looking good holds a possibility that your partner will fall in love with you, only then she will accept you and cherish you no matter how fat or thin you are.

I hope you find this helpful


Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Arnab Banerjee
doctor
doctor
Answered by Dr. salah saad shoman (0 minute later)
Brief Answer:
Alternative sex positions

Detailed Answer:
Dear Sir, Hello again.

There is a lot of sex positions that doesn’t apply your weight over your partner...

However, I would not recommend that you go back to any unhealthy diet except once per week for your own health.. Also starting a relationship while looking good holds a possibility that your partner will fall in love with you, only then she will accept you and cherish you no matter how fat or thin you are.

I hope you find this helpful


Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Arnab Banerjee
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. salah saad shoman (5 hours later)
Doc,

You are right. I have to take care of my health. I will just have to accept this as my new reality. I think the BIGGEST thing that troubles me is, not necessarily that these women ignored me previously (which they did), but how they basically approach me now and act as if they NEVER ignored me. I don't mind the way they treated me, because they had that right to ignore me. But, to approach me now and act as if they never ignored me is troubling. I think they try to overcompensate for what they did not do by being so kind and so aggressive, but what I really would like is an apology. I think, if I got an apology for how they ignored me, then I would not mind mentally moving forward and accepting them as friends, lovers, etc.

Is it reasonable for me to expect an apology?
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Follow up: Dr. salah saad shoman (0 minute later)
Doc,

You are right. I have to take care of my health. I will just have to accept this as my new reality. I think the BIGGEST thing that troubles me is, not necessarily that these women ignored me previously (which they did), but how they basically approach me now and act as if they NEVER ignored me. I don't mind the way they treated me, because they had that right to ignore me. But, to approach me now and act as if they never ignored me is troubling. I think they try to overcompensate for what they did not do by being so kind and so aggressive, but what I really would like is an apology. I think, if I got an apology for how they ignored me, then I would not mind mentally moving forward and accepting them as friends, lovers, etc.

Is it reasonable for me to expect an apology?
doctor
Answered by Dr. salah saad shoman (36 hours later)
Brief Answer:
No

Detailed Answer:
Dear sir, hello again.. I don’t think it is reasonable to ask for an apology as they might deny ignoring you before and moreover they might deny trying to approach you to save themselves the embarrassment. I would recommend that you move forward without an apology as hard as it is but this is the best option.. I hope you find this helpful
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Yogesh D
doctor
doctor
Answered by Dr. salah saad shoman (0 minute later)
Brief Answer:
No

Detailed Answer:
Dear sir, hello again.. I don’t think it is reasonable to ask for an apology as they might deny ignoring you before and moreover they might deny trying to approach you to save themselves the embarrassment. I would recommend that you move forward without an apology as hard as it is but this is the best option.. I hope you find this helpful
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Yogesh D
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. salah saad shoman (4 hours later)
Ok. Fortunately, my job is going completely remote now due to COVID-19, so I won't have to see these women at the office anymore. Eventually, I am sure that I will meet new people, and if women I have never met pursue me vigorously, then I will likely consider a relationship with them, although, due to COVID-19, this really is a bad time to be dating I think.

Thanks for your advice, Doc.
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Follow up: Dr. salah saad shoman (0 minute later)
Ok. Fortunately, my job is going completely remote now due to COVID-19, so I won't have to see these women at the office anymore. Eventually, I am sure that I will meet new people, and if women I have never met pursue me vigorously, then I will likely consider a relationship with them, although, due to COVID-19, this really is a bad time to be dating I think.

Thanks for your advice, Doc.
doctor
Answered by Dr. salah saad shoman (12 hours later)
Brief Answer:
You are welcome

Detailed Answer:
Dear sir, you are welcome.. if you don’t have any clarifications then please close the discussion..
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Nagamani Ng
doctor
doctor
Answered by Dr. salah saad shoman (0 minute later)
Brief Answer:
You are welcome

Detailed Answer:
Dear sir, you are welcome.. if you don’t have any clarifications then please close the discussion..
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Nagamani Ng
doctor
Answered by
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Dr. salah saad shoman

Internal Medicine Specialist

Practicing since :2004

Answered : 3148 Questions

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I Am A Young Man, And I Finished Losing 30

I am a young man, and I finished losing 30 pounds about a week ago. Previously, I had been 230 pounds, but I am now down to 200 pounds. I did this for my health, but it has caused me to get extra attention from women that I was not accustomed to. A woman at my job who had previously ignored me basically approached me. When my back was turned, she bumped into me very hard and when I turned around, she had a huge smile. There was another time when she held doors open for me at work, and she was sitting near me at work and because I was fidgeting in my chair trying to get comfortable, she got up and offered me hers. Despite the fact that she treats me like this now (and obviously wants to be intimate with me), I have this bitterness for her (and some other women who have changed the way that they are treating me). It is hard for me to accept them, date them, etc., because I am not accustomed to being treated this way. The entire way I am being treated by women has literally changed in the past week. It seems that 200 poundswas some sort of magic number. I didn't realize I looked so much better until I woke up one morning about a week ago , and my body just felt so light. That lightness translates to the way I look, and women are just treating me so much better. All this attention is very weird, especially during COVID-19 nowadays where I prefer to basically avoid people. I once dreamed about having relationships with beautiful, attractive women, but now that I actually have the opportunity to do it, I just feel so objectified. I feel like I have not had time to mentally shift from being fat in my mind to being slim. I was always chubby growing up, so I never got this sort of attention and I am not accustomed to it. I really just don't know how to deal with it and feel like something is wrong with me because I can't embrace this new treatment. I think the issue now is that, without quite as much weight, women are more willing to sleep with me. I am only 5'4, so 200 pounds is not all that skinny, but it is a weight that a lot of women are used to having on top of them during sex. What can I do, mentally, about my situation?