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Is Genital Exploration A Normal Behavior In Children?
Question: I have been told by my neighbour that my 6 year old daughter licked their 4 year old sons penis. After speaking to my daughter about this, she told me she didn't think it was wrong and that her friend 'X' plays these games on her. I reminded her about our private parts being private and that it is only ever okay in special circumstances (i.e.. being at a doctor for a specific reason with a parent) and she told me she thought it was okay because the friends parents are doctors (mum is an OB and dad was a dentist (dad also just passed away very suddenly at 48 years old)) and that the parents were there. My daughter was incredibly distressed, embarrassed and humiliated and cried. She said she didn't realise she had done something wrong and that 'X' has always said it is okay. I am terribly concerned that this will affect our relationship with our neighbours but more importantly that I handle this the wrong way with my daughter. I have read many things online about the normal behaviour for 3-7 year olds and this seems completely normal as far as exploration but I am not sure how to handle this or deal with it in a greater sense. I have made plans to speak with the fiends mum face to face. I don't know how to approach my neighbours to resolve this issue. HELP???
Brief Answer:
Kindly do not confront your neighbours
Detailed Answer:
Hi
Welcome to Healthcaremagic
Greetings of the day
Dear Ms
Genital exploration and feeling of own genital and those of opposite sex is quite normal behaviour at this age group. You have rightly addressed the issue by telling your daughter that the private parts are only to be shown to doctor under special circumstances.
I would suggest you the following
1. Do not confront the neighbours. This will worsen your relationship with them. Speaking to your own daughter and explaining her gently is sufficient
2. Do not be hard or harsh on your daughter. Remember it's part of normal development and there is nothing wrong about such behaviour. Under no circumstances should a child be made to feel embarrassed or let down.
3. Explain to your daughter to avoid such plays. There are other plays which are more enjoyable.
Put back the episode , your daughter should definitely follow your advice.
Wishing you and your family a very happy and healthy life.
Take care
Best regards
Dr Deepak Kaltari
Kindly do not confront your neighbours
Detailed Answer:
Hi
Welcome to Healthcaremagic
Greetings of the day
Dear Ms
Genital exploration and feeling of own genital and those of opposite sex is quite normal behaviour at this age group. You have rightly addressed the issue by telling your daughter that the private parts are only to be shown to doctor under special circumstances.
I would suggest you the following
1. Do not confront the neighbours. This will worsen your relationship with them. Speaking to your own daughter and explaining her gently is sufficient
2. Do not be hard or harsh on your daughter. Remember it's part of normal development and there is nothing wrong about such behaviour. Under no circumstances should a child be made to feel embarrassed or let down.
3. Explain to your daughter to avoid such plays. There are other plays which are more enjoyable.
Put back the episode , your daughter should definitely follow your advice.
Wishing you and your family a very happy and healthy life.
Take care
Best regards
Dr Deepak Kaltari
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Thank you Dr. Yes, I certainly made my daughter feel comfortable and told her she hadn't done anything wrong but was correct in telling me the truth.
I don't have issues with it as far as it being out of the norm. I obviously want my daughter to feel protected and to know her rights for both her and her body. I don't have further need to discuss this with her.
My neighbors live beneath us (in a duplex) and they have requested we have a follow up conversation. I really just want to give them the same information I have read about what is 'normal' for this age group. They were implying that our daughter did something terribly wrong and does not want our children to be near each other any more. We share our back yard. Can you recommend a site then that would provide additional information on explatory behavior or can you shed some light that I can pass on? It is much appreciated. I want to move forwards from this. Sincerely.
I don't have issues with it as far as it being out of the norm. I obviously want my daughter to feel protected and to know her rights for both her and her body. I don't have further need to discuss this with her.
My neighbors live beneath us (in a duplex) and they have requested we have a follow up conversation. I really just want to give them the same information I have read about what is 'normal' for this age group. They were implying that our daughter did something terribly wrong and does not want our children to be near each other any more. We share our back yard. Can you recommend a site then that would provide additional information on explatory behavior or can you shed some light that I can pass on? It is much appreciated. I want to move forwards from this. Sincerely.
Brief Answer:
It's normal behaviour
Detailed Answer:
Dear Ms
You should definitely move forward. As your child has understood it very much serves the purpose. Even though your neighbours would like to discuss it , discuss it only when they again take a pick at topic. Also put it across that there is nothing wrong that your daughter has done , it's just a part of normal ggrowth and development. I would reference you to chapter of child psychology and sexual behaviour in " Textbook of Pediatric by XXXXXXX "
Take care
Wishing you and your family a very happy and healthy life.
Take care
Best regards
Dr Deepak Kaltari
It's normal behaviour
Detailed Answer:
Dear Ms
You should definitely move forward. As your child has understood it very much serves the purpose. Even though your neighbours would like to discuss it , discuss it only when they again take a pick at topic. Also put it across that there is nothing wrong that your daughter has done , it's just a part of normal ggrowth and development. I would reference you to chapter of child psychology and sexual behaviour in " Textbook of Pediatric by XXXXXXX "
Take care
Wishing you and your family a very happy and healthy life.
Take care
Best regards
Dr Deepak Kaltari
Note: For further queries related to your child health, Talk to a Pediatrician. Click here to Book a Consultation.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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