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Is Reactive Attachment In A 4 Year Old Child Normal?
Question: Dear Sir, my 4 year kid is very much attached to her friend(only one). In fact she don't listen to her parents when she is with her and ready to sacrifice anything for her. Earlier some days back she was attached to one and as we changed her school now she has forgotten the old one. But in the new school she is very much attached to this new one.
Is is normal? How we should deal with the situation when she is not listening to parents (when with her friend)?
Is is normal? How we should deal with the situation when she is not listening to parents (when with her friend)?
Brief Answer:
Yes. The child's behavior is normal.
Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXX. I can understand.
Here you, parents must understand why children behave like this.
Child from age 1 to 7 are more attached to people or places where the child gets more care, more pleasure and playful atmosphere. The child will be attached to its mother because mother cares for the child and provides child's needs. Likewise, child could be attached to father because of the same reason. So attachment is the outcome of care and fulfillment of requirements.
Child at this age only requires these two. Child do not have emotional thinking, to be precise, no logical thinking at all. Therefore do not expect logical thinking from your child.
In the given context, YES. Your child is perfect and normal in its behavior. She is attached to her friend just because she thinks that she gets the care and pleasure from that friend.
Anger and bullying will not work just because child do not understand these, and she sees it as threatening. She keeps away from people who she thinks as threatening.
Therefore to get things done, the only way is, to provide more care.
As you already pointed out, this is her second friend. If you are able to be her friend, your wife is able to be her friend, in a manner which your child wants you to be, it becomes easy for you to attract er towards you, the parents.
This is no big deal. Easy.
This also shows, the other friend is able to provide care and affection, more than what you, parents, are providing towards your child. Isn't it pathetic?
Please change your attitude. She is a child. Behave as if she is a child.
I am here to help you in any sort of problems. Feel free to contact me.
Take care.
Yes. The child's behavior is normal.
Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXX. I can understand.
Here you, parents must understand why children behave like this.
Child from age 1 to 7 are more attached to people or places where the child gets more care, more pleasure and playful atmosphere. The child will be attached to its mother because mother cares for the child and provides child's needs. Likewise, child could be attached to father because of the same reason. So attachment is the outcome of care and fulfillment of requirements.
Child at this age only requires these two. Child do not have emotional thinking, to be precise, no logical thinking at all. Therefore do not expect logical thinking from your child.
In the given context, YES. Your child is perfect and normal in its behavior. She is attached to her friend just because she thinks that she gets the care and pleasure from that friend.
Anger and bullying will not work just because child do not understand these, and she sees it as threatening. She keeps away from people who she thinks as threatening.
Therefore to get things done, the only way is, to provide more care.
As you already pointed out, this is her second friend. If you are able to be her friend, your wife is able to be her friend, in a manner which your child wants you to be, it becomes easy for you to attract er towards you, the parents.
This is no big deal. Easy.
This also shows, the other friend is able to provide care and affection, more than what you, parents, are providing towards your child. Isn't it pathetic?
Please change your attitude. She is a child. Behave as if she is a child.
I am here to help you in any sort of problems. Feel free to contact me.
Take care.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Prasad
Answered by
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