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Is Sex Before Marriage Safe?

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Posted on Sat, 30 Apr 2016
Question: Hello, i am a 26 year old female, and my boyfriend is 29 years old. we are in a serious relationship. The issue is that I feel that premarital sex is important so that we can find out if we are sexually compatible. he does not feel the same way and wants to wait until marriage. let me note that he is a virgin, and i am not(i have been with one other person). I also want to add that we are very sexual, and we do everything except for penetration(there seems to be no functional problems in either of us). we have good communication, and are very attracted to each other. My question is, is it a risk if we do not sleep together before marriage? could we face any problems that could not be fixed? would our marriage be doomed?
doctor
Answered by Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (13 minutes later)
Brief Answer:
I do not think so

Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for using healthcaremagic.

I read your query and understand your concerns.
I do not think your marriage will be doomed if you do not have sex before marriage. Since there is no functional problem and you have good understanding and communication there is almost nil chance of any hidden problem.

At the same time sexual compatibility can be assessed while having foreplay, oral sex, manual masturbation of partner, frequency of sexual thoughts, tendency to experiment by either partner to some extent.

From your description it appears to me that you are somewhat sure of your compatibility but want to make it double sure through having penetrative sex. In my view your fears are without any base and it is advisable to respect each others thought regarding premarital sex.

I hope this helps you.
If you have more questions feel free to write back to me.
Thanks and regards
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Naveen Kumar
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (18 minutes later)
Ok, one more question,
my friends who have had sex before have told me that with some of their partners they did not feel anything during sexual intercourse, or he had premature ejaculation and it affected their relationship. If we are faced with such a problem after marriage, are there any solutions?

Thank you for your time!
doctor
Answered by Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (7 minutes later)
Brief Answer:
Yes there are solution

Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for reverting back to me.

Premature ejaculation is treatable condition and there are wide options available for treatment. In addition you can be aware of such problem while masturbation . If he ejaculates in no time there is chance of premature ejaculation as a problem. Roughly the dry sex (masturation with bare hands) lasts almost double of wet sex (oral sex, vaginal sex).

Regarding not feeling anything, it is not a medical condition and this depends what you understand about sex and what you get and level of disparity. Mostly it is due to lack of interest in partner rather than anything else. If somebody forces sex on somebody the other partner tend to not feel it a pleasurable activity which we are supposed to have.

I hope this clarifies.
If you have any further query, I would be glad to help you.
If not, you may close the discussion and if possible you may rate the answer for me, so that I get a good feedback.
In future if you wish to contact me directly, you can use the below mentioned link:
http://doctor.healthcaremagic.com/doctors/dr-ashok-kumar/67386
Thanks and regards
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Naveen Kumar
doctor
Answered by
Dr.
Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary

Psychiatrist

Practicing since :2000

Answered : 3350 Questions

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Is Sex Before Marriage Safe?

Brief Answer: I do not think so Detailed Answer: Hello, Thanks for using healthcaremagic. I read your query and understand your concerns. I do not think your marriage will be doomed if you do not have sex before marriage. Since there is no functional problem and you have good understanding and communication there is almost nil chance of any hidden problem. At the same time sexual compatibility can be assessed while having foreplay, oral sex, manual masturbation of partner, frequency of sexual thoughts, tendency to experiment by either partner to some extent. From your description it appears to me that you are somewhat sure of your compatibility but want to make it double sure through having penetrative sex. In my view your fears are without any base and it is advisable to respect each others thought regarding premarital sex. I hope this helps you. If you have more questions feel free to write back to me. Thanks and regards