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Is Socially Inappropriate Statement From A Child Indicative Of Child Abuse?
Question: Why would my 6 year old daughter ask her uncle (my brother) to pull down his pants and underwear? This feels so out of character for her - very strange actually. When I asked her if she thought it was appropriate vs. inappropriate she acknowledged it was inappropriate. When I asked her where she got the idea to ask this question, she said she forgot. Should I be concerned? Is she acting out? Is this a sign something happened to her?
Brief Answer:
Be alert about the possibility of child abuse
Detailed Answer:
Thanks for asking on HealthcareMagic.
I have very carefully gone through your query and indeed there is cause to be concerned. We are not born wearing dresses and the act of dressing up is a social construct. Children are not born with prior knowledge of dressing and undressing or social appropriateness and inappropriateness. So, when a young child like your daughter instructs somebody to pull down his pants and underwear, you can rest assured that either she has been instructed in similar manner sometime in the past, or she has seen somebody instruct somebody else similarly. Whatever it be, it demands alertness and awareness from your side since the issue of child abuse is involved. I do not think that she is acting out. Even if she does, the fact that she has already witnessed a similar episode remains, unless she was directly involved. The answer that she has forgotten wherefrom she got the idea, is quite natural but could also be due to a mental trauma associated. In any case, just keep your eyes open and do not let her off unguarded. Remember that child abuse most often comes from known persons.
Regards
Be alert about the possibility of child abuse
Detailed Answer:
Thanks for asking on HealthcareMagic.
I have very carefully gone through your query and indeed there is cause to be concerned. We are not born wearing dresses and the act of dressing up is a social construct. Children are not born with prior knowledge of dressing and undressing or social appropriateness and inappropriateness. So, when a young child like your daughter instructs somebody to pull down his pants and underwear, you can rest assured that either she has been instructed in similar manner sometime in the past, or she has seen somebody instruct somebody else similarly. Whatever it be, it demands alertness and awareness from your side since the issue of child abuse is involved. I do not think that she is acting out. Even if she does, the fact that she has already witnessed a similar episode remains, unless she was directly involved. The answer that she has forgotten wherefrom she got the idea, is quite natural but could also be due to a mental trauma associated. In any case, just keep your eyes open and do not let her off unguarded. Remember that child abuse most often comes from known persons.
Regards
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Prasad
She finally recalled - with specificity, so I believe her - an incident when a 2nd grade boy asked a 7th grade both to pull down his pants & underwear - yet this was so etching that happened 6+ months ago as she claims. I don't think she ever told me about it at the time.
I immediately thought this episode might be due to her time spent with (in my opinion) an overly sexualized 6 year old girl friend these past few days, this friend was constantly trying to kiss and hug my daughter, wanted to kiss her like a boy would, and acted very aggressively towards her. Several times I had to interfere with this type of play. I knew something was odd whe my daughter asked to use the bathroom to change into her bathing suit instead of changing with her friend in the bedroom. Could all this physical, pretend kissing play caused my daughter to remember the other incident with those boys? Was she responding as an aggressor on some level because she felt victimized. by her girl friend? I'm still feeling very unsettled by the entire thing.
I immediately thought this episode might be due to her time spent with (in my opinion) an overly sexualized 6 year old girl friend these past few days, this friend was constantly trying to kiss and hug my daughter, wanted to kiss her like a boy would, and acted very aggressively towards her. Several times I had to interfere with this type of play. I knew something was odd whe my daughter asked to use the bathroom to change into her bathing suit instead of changing with her friend in the bedroom. Could all this physical, pretend kissing play caused my daughter to remember the other incident with those boys? Was she responding as an aggressor on some level because she felt victimized. by her girl friend? I'm still feeling very unsettled by the entire thing.
Brief Answer:
You still need to keep your eyes open.
Detailed Answer:
Thanks for writing back. I doubt if there is a physical (sexual) pretext to these acts of hers. But whatever be the case, it denotes maladjustment. These children are not likely to be able to think the way we do. So when interpretation becomes fallacious, maladjustment results. You might like to get in touch with a psychologist who could help unravel if a component of trauma involved. She will also enable your child to cope better and to adjust properly with respect to the improper things that might go around her. She might have a feeling of victimization.
Once again I would not insist you to treat it lightly as such minor incidents when left unattended to, may lead to future unrest in family life.
If she can identify the 2nd and 7th grade children who she says were involved, please bring it in attention of appropriate authorities so that they can evaluate and investigate in those children have been sexually abused. You need to be alert and careful about such a thing.
Regards
You still need to keep your eyes open.
Detailed Answer:
Thanks for writing back. I doubt if there is a physical (sexual) pretext to these acts of hers. But whatever be the case, it denotes maladjustment. These children are not likely to be able to think the way we do. So when interpretation becomes fallacious, maladjustment results. You might like to get in touch with a psychologist who could help unravel if a component of trauma involved. She will also enable your child to cope better and to adjust properly with respect to the improper things that might go around her. She might have a feeling of victimization.
Once again I would not insist you to treat it lightly as such minor incidents when left unattended to, may lead to future unrest in family life.
If she can identify the 2nd and 7th grade children who she says were involved, please bring it in attention of appropriate authorities so that they can evaluate and investigate in those children have been sexually abused. You need to be alert and careful about such a thing.
Regards
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Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Prasad
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