Is There Any Treatment Available To Diagnose Mental Illness?

Posted on Sat, 23 Feb 2013

Question: I need to figure out if my new girlfriend has a mental illness. We have been dating for two months. At first everything was fine. I stayed at here house over 12 days at Christmas. The first 6 days were great, the last 6 she seemed distant (didnt want to be touched, or close to me) just kind of offish. Called her when I got back home (120 miles away), said she felt so uncomfortable with me in her house...that I put her on edge. She said it's not going to work...we broke up. A few days later she said she missed me, and we would have to start over at square 1. We started over, she said she needed her space...so I slept on the couch when I was there. Everything was fine for a couple weeks, I told her that I loved her and she responded in same. We had all sorts of texts and phone calls with I love you etc....last weekend she told me I was the best boyfriend in the world and she couldn't find a better guy to be with, less than 20 hours later she kicked me out of her house because she said I made her "skin crawl". This happens constantly. We have broken up 2 times in the last month. She tells me she needs her space, and that her house is her santuary...yet complains when I am not there. She says long distance relationships work better for her because she needs her space. She is affectionate and wants me, then two hours later I am the worst guy in the world. She wants personal space, then she doesnt...wants to be touched than doesn't. I annoy here for no apparent fault of my own...then she's just angry. She swings from highs to lows on a daily...sometimes hourly basis. She's in love with me...looking at houses, seeing me as a stepdad to her kids, loving, affectionate, saying I am the one she wants to marry. Then the lows...I agitate her, I need to get engaged in her life, I am a horrible person, I make her uncomfortable in her house and on and on. I can do no right in her mind sometimes, while other times I am the best boyfriend ever. I am confused.

Answered by Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar (39 minutes later)

Hello and welcome to Healthcare Magic. Thanks for your query.

Let me summarize the problems which you have mentioed about your girlfriend:

- Mood swings
- Emotional instability
- Indecisiveness
- Inability to form a sustained relationship

These symptoms appear to be more indicative of a personality problem than any specific mental illness. Such symptoms are frequently seen in persons with emotionally unstable personality traits.

However, I would also like to highlight the fact that you have known each other only for a very short duration. In such a short period, it is difficult for anyone to make any major definitive decisions about life and future. It is possible that thaough she is emotionally attached to you, she is still confused whether his relationship is moving too quick or whether this is the right decision or not.

Sometimes, emotions can cloud our thinking and reasoning. The initial phase of any relationship is majorly comprised of emotions and attractions (...and both these will fade away soon). So, it is important for both of you to put your emotions aside for a while and think practically and realistically where this relationship is going and how to proceed further. This will give you a better idea of each other and prevent unecessary hurt and turmoil.

Wish you all the best.

Regards,
Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar
Consultant Psychiatrist

Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar