Question: My 11 year old grandson goes through periods where he is especially needy. He whines more and wants to wrestle or play/fight with me a lot. On days when he seems more relaxed and acting in ways that I consider to be age appropriate, he does not do these things. What can I do to help him get over this behavior? I have been not making a big deal about this behavior and sometimes have been willing to wrestle with him for short periods of time. He seems to have something in him he has to get out. It was worse when he was younger. I think this behavior should be gone or almost gone by now.

1. Does your grandson behave in a self focused way?
At times he does. He has to move between his two parents homes each week. And he spends part of most days with me. I homeschool him in the mornings and he goes to the local school in the afternoon. I notice that he is to some degree molded by the adult he is with, rather than keeping his own identity.

2. Interrupt others including other children on tasks he is not interest in?
No, this is not a problem.

3. Can he wait for his turn? Yes

4. Emotional outbursts ? Anger ? Aggression ?
He does not have outbursts with me (his grandmother) or with his father. I believe he still has some with his mother, but it is not as bad as when he was younger.

5. Restlessness ? Fidgeting? Squirming ? Yes

6. Leaves a lot of tasks unfinished ? Yes

7. Lack of focus ? Yes. This is a big problem in school and when trying to work on homework. I usually stay right with him while he does his homework to keep refocusing him back to the task.

8. Avoidance of tasks needing extended mental effort? Yes and no. He loves to read long complex books. He stays focused on long complex video games. Once in awhile he will draw for long periods of time. But in most other cases, he will avoid tasks needing extended mental effort.

9. Makes consistent mistakes ? No

10. Day dreaming ? Yes, when assigned a task he is not excited about.

11. Trouble getting organized ? Yes, he does not tend to organize anything.

12. Forgetfulness ? Not a problem

13. General school behavior ? If someone does not make sure that he keeps up, he will daydream and not bother with assignments. As he gets further behind, he thinks he is not capable of doing the work.

14. Quarrel with class mates or other children ? Not a problem