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My Husband And I Are Long Distance And When We

Posted on Sun, 13 Oct 2019

Question: My husband and i are long distance and when we have anal which has been like once in the past 6 months we have to use a lube we havent had sex in a while bc hes been away..recently he stop by and was able to easily put his middle finger in my anal while we were having sex without any lube in my anal now he thinks im over here cheating on him..but i am not i have never been with anyone but him but at the same time i cant explain to to him why all of a sudden its loose back there can you help me..my husband is on the edge of divorcing me for this but i honesthly cant explain it he is the only person i EVER been with but its true wheveer we do anal which is once in a blue moon i would be so tight back there where he couldnt even stick his finger without lube but last night his middle finger slide in there without any..again i never slept with anyone but him so i cant explain it why all of a sudden its loose i need help

Answered by Dr. Soumya (19 minutes later)

Brief Answer:
Anal sphincter becomes loose after sex and with age.

Detailed Answer:
Hi,

I understand your concerns.

Following is my reply:

1) Anal sphincter becomes loose after few episodes of anal sex which could be occasional also.

2) Anal Sphincter loses its tightness with age and slowly it becomes lax.

3) Due to both factors above , anal sphincter becomes loose and you can insert finger.

Let me know if you need anymore help.

Regards

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar

Follow up: Dr. Soumya (9 minutes later)

But the last time we had anal was july and we had to use a lot of lube we had not had anal since then..how can it be loose 2months later?

Last night we didnt have anal sex but he was able to insert his finger which before he was not able to do before it was so tight he really thinks im over cheating but i am not i wouldnt be doing all this to find answers if i was.

Answered by Dr. Soumya (5 minutes later)

Brief Answer:
Sphincter loosens faster

Detailed Answer:
Hi,

Sphincter tightness varies and loosens fast after anal sex. This is normal.

Take your husband to a doctor and discuss about this. They can counsel him.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar

Follow up: Dr. Soumya (4 minutes later)

Even anal sex in july and 2 months later no anal at all...then all of a sudden lets say we decide to do anal it will still be loose back there from 2 months ago??? Is that what you are saying

Follow up: Dr. Soumya (47 minutes later)

Hello

Answered by Dr. Soumya (35 hours later)

Brief Answer:
Yes

Detailed Answer:
Hi,

You are right. It does not matter when you did anal. Multiple episodes over few years reduce anal tone.

Another possibility is that anal tone reduces in particular sex position especially when you are bent. It might still be having normal tone and not loosened but in a particular position it would have loosen up.

Note: Revert back with your gynae reports to get a clear medical analysis by our expert Gynecologic Oncologist. Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar