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Suggest Remedies For Porn Addiction
Question: Hi Doctor,
I am ashamed to ask you such silly question but I think I can really use some good advice since I am not thinking clearly.
All of this started some years ago when I in college. I was going through a rough patch and was visibly low. Some hostel mates commented that I am too serious always and I should use pornography to relieve myself. Unfortunately I thought I should give this a try secretly and everything has taken a turn for worse since then.
I was so disgusted by what I saw that I almost could not believe that anyone will perform such acts for any reason. I could not believe that women would become part of such an activity. I dont know if it was my disgust or if it was my shock that other people were so comfortable watching such things, I decided to continue this and explore the limits to which pornography can go.
Initially whenever I was low, I would watch any video only to the extent where an actor would convince her counterpart to indulge in sex. I will generally not watch the sexual activity itself. Slowly however, I started watching first few minutes of sexual activity. And then I increased it further. Each time I saw pornography I got disgusted and my disgust motivated me to do something positive about myself (such as exercise or learn new things). But again when I would become low, I would somehow convince myself to go back to pornography and then get disgusted again.
This changed a couple of years ago when my mind started to become numb. I stopped getting disgusted, yet I did not start enjoying pornography either. It just so happens that periodically (every 8-10 days) my mind will automatically convince myself to watch pornography and then I will behave like a robot to search for most obscene videos and masturbate. Then for 8-10 days I will not be bothered at all. I should also mention that I am not affected by real women around me at work or at malls etc. I am just bothered by pornographic videos every 8-10 days. I have applied all sorts of filters on internet but I always get a workaround to watch these videos every 8-10 days.
Finally to my problems to which I am hoping an answer -
1. I understand that men and women in that video are just actors and that I made a big deal of something like this unnecessarily. But still I dont want to become a person who uses pornography for any purpose regardless of whether it is accepted by others or not. And yet I keep looking at pornography every 8-10 days. What could that reason be?
2. All this watching was also followed by masturbation which marked end of an episode. Sometimes when I get stressed, a little seminal leakage will happen and cause embarrassment. In extreme situations, I would ejaculate without getting proper stimulus or erection. This is really frustrating and it would be good if this can be corrected
3. At one point I thought all of this is happening because I am shy or old fashioned. Hence I thought I should become more liberal minded so I started uttering cuss words and dirty talk to myself when I thought an episode may happen. But this did not stop episode from happening. Infact I would wake from my sleep and utter such words and sleep but episode will start in 1-2 days anyways.
Bottomline is that no matter if I am old fashioned, shy or if I have an innate desire to look porn without me knowing, I dont want to become an individual who watches porn and hence I will really appreciate if you can suggest what I can do about it. I would like to dedicate myself to science and research and at times it may get boring but thats the only thing I want to do. I am not very social and I would like to be that way.
I am ashamed to ask you such silly question but I think I can really use some good advice since I am not thinking clearly.
All of this started some years ago when I in college. I was going through a rough patch and was visibly low. Some hostel mates commented that I am too serious always and I should use pornography to relieve myself. Unfortunately I thought I should give this a try secretly and everything has taken a turn for worse since then.
I was so disgusted by what I saw that I almost could not believe that anyone will perform such acts for any reason. I could not believe that women would become part of such an activity. I dont know if it was my disgust or if it was my shock that other people were so comfortable watching such things, I decided to continue this and explore the limits to which pornography can go.
Initially whenever I was low, I would watch any video only to the extent where an actor would convince her counterpart to indulge in sex. I will generally not watch the sexual activity itself. Slowly however, I started watching first few minutes of sexual activity. And then I increased it further. Each time I saw pornography I got disgusted and my disgust motivated me to do something positive about myself (such as exercise or learn new things). But again when I would become low, I would somehow convince myself to go back to pornography and then get disgusted again.
This changed a couple of years ago when my mind started to become numb. I stopped getting disgusted, yet I did not start enjoying pornography either. It just so happens that periodically (every 8-10 days) my mind will automatically convince myself to watch pornography and then I will behave like a robot to search for most obscene videos and masturbate. Then for 8-10 days I will not be bothered at all. I should also mention that I am not affected by real women around me at work or at malls etc. I am just bothered by pornographic videos every 8-10 days. I have applied all sorts of filters on internet but I always get a workaround to watch these videos every 8-10 days.
Finally to my problems to which I am hoping an answer -
1. I understand that men and women in that video are just actors and that I made a big deal of something like this unnecessarily. But still I dont want to become a person who uses pornography for any purpose regardless of whether it is accepted by others or not. And yet I keep looking at pornography every 8-10 days. What could that reason be?
2. All this watching was also followed by masturbation which marked end of an episode. Sometimes when I get stressed, a little seminal leakage will happen and cause embarrassment. In extreme situations, I would ejaculate without getting proper stimulus or erection. This is really frustrating and it would be good if this can be corrected
3. At one point I thought all of this is happening because I am shy or old fashioned. Hence I thought I should become more liberal minded so I started uttering cuss words and dirty talk to myself when I thought an episode may happen. But this did not stop episode from happening. Infact I would wake from my sleep and utter such words and sleep but episode will start in 1-2 days anyways.
Bottomline is that no matter if I am old fashioned, shy or if I have an innate desire to look porn without me knowing, I dont want to become an individual who watches porn and hence I will really appreciate if you can suggest what I can do about it. I would like to dedicate myself to science and research and at times it may get boring but thats the only thing I want to do. I am not very social and I would like to be that way.
Brief Answer:
it is likely addiction of porn with Obsessions and compulsions
Detailed Answer:
Hello Man,
Thanks for writing to us. I can understand your concern.
Thanks for providing clear history and narrating your problem without hesitation. This is not at all silly question.
From history it seems that you are likely become addicted to porn. There is other likely possible diagnosis called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
For your information I am writing diagnostic criteria of OCD here.
A. Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both:
Obsessions are defined by and :
- Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress.
- The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (i.e., by performing a compulsion).
Compulsions are defined by and :
- Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g.,praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly.
- The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent, or are clearly excessive.
B. The obsessions or compulsions are time-consuming (e.g., take more than hour per day) or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
In your case desire to watch porn and ruminating thoughts of porn are obsessions and doing masturbation is compulsion.
To confirm diagnosis detail history should be evaluated and mental status examination should be done by a psychiatrist in person.
In general treatment of OCD ) includes medicines and psychotherapy.
SSRI group of drugs (fluoxetine,paroxetine,sertraline, escitalopram) are main stay of the treatment. They are antidepressant and in OCD used in high dose.
Benzodiazepines group of drugs (clonazepam, lorazepam or etizolam) are used initially for short duration for fast symptomatic relief.
Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is also very useful. It is a type of psychotherapy.
In moderate to severe cases initially medicines and then CBT is added.
After diagnosis CBT and, if needed low dose medicines can be used in your case. You have also some confusing and disturbing thoughts about sex. That can also be sorted out through help of CBT/counseling or psycho-dynamic psychotherapy.
In conclusion consulting a psychiatrist will surely help.
Hope I have answered your query, I will be happy to help further.
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.
it is likely addiction of porn with Obsessions and compulsions
Detailed Answer:
Hello Man,
Thanks for writing to us. I can understand your concern.
Thanks for providing clear history and narrating your problem without hesitation. This is not at all silly question.
From history it seems that you are likely become addicted to porn. There is other likely possible diagnosis called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
For your information I am writing diagnostic criteria of OCD here.
A. Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both:
Obsessions are defined by and :
- Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress.
- The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (i.e., by performing a compulsion).
Compulsions are defined by and :
- Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g.,praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly.
- The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent, or are clearly excessive.
B. The obsessions or compulsions are time-consuming (e.g., take more than hour per day) or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
In your case desire to watch porn and ruminating thoughts of porn are obsessions and doing masturbation is compulsion.
To confirm diagnosis detail history should be evaluated and mental status examination should be done by a psychiatrist in person.
In general treatment of OCD ) includes medicines and psychotherapy.
SSRI group of drugs (fluoxetine,paroxetine,sertraline, escitalopram) are main stay of the treatment. They are antidepressant and in OCD used in high dose.
Benzodiazepines group of drugs (clonazepam, lorazepam or etizolam) are used initially for short duration for fast symptomatic relief.
Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is also very useful. It is a type of psychotherapy.
In moderate to severe cases initially medicines and then CBT is added.
After diagnosis CBT and, if needed low dose medicines can be used in your case. You have also some confusing and disturbing thoughts about sex. That can also be sorted out through help of CBT/counseling or psycho-dynamic psychotherapy.
In conclusion consulting a psychiatrist will surely help.
Hope I have answered your query, I will be happy to help further.
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Thank You Doctor for the detailed email. Till now I was thinking that obsessions are something that mind will do since it gets enjoyment even when mind knows it is not good for health (eg smoking, etc). In my case, I dont enjoy watching porn. Its just that my mind becomes numb and always find some kind of twisted excuse to watch this one last time. I agree though that masturbation is just a compulsive action once I have had an episode of obsession.
I would really appreciate if you can elaborate more on the "CBT". A few examples of what is done in such cases will be really helpful. Are we talking about taking up an activity which will replace this obsession? If yes, an example will be highly appreciated.
I dont know if this is related but the way I think nowadays has changed since these things started. Now when I am thinking there is a voice in my head that is enacting whatever I intend to do / say. Previously I used to ponder on a problem, decide what has to be done, then take a decision and do it. Now, I ponder then enact a decision in my mind again and again before actually doing it. I am mentioning this as I dont know if it is related to obsession.
Also, what is the approximate time frame we are looking at for full recovery?
I would really appreciate if you can elaborate more on the "CBT". A few examples of what is done in such cases will be really helpful. Are we talking about taking up an activity which will replace this obsession? If yes, an example will be highly appreciated.
I dont know if this is related but the way I think nowadays has changed since these things started. Now when I am thinking there is a voice in my head that is enacting whatever I intend to do / say. Previously I used to ponder on a problem, decide what has to be done, then take a decision and do it. Now, I ponder then enact a decision in my mind again and again before actually doing it. I am mentioning this as I dont know if it is related to obsession.
Also, what is the approximate time frame we are looking at for full recovery?
Brief Answer:
noise in head is part of OCD
Detailed Answer:
Hi,
Thanks for follow up.
In CBT psychiatrist/psychologist helps person to identify his/her automatic thoughts and faulty behavior which would ultimately be modified by person with active efforts and help of therapist. It also includes time management, daily sleep, meals and exercise timing.
In your case you are aware that you have to watch to the porn though you do not want to do so. You will learn to avoid or fight with the thoughts of watching porn in CBT. It is difficult but not impossible. Initially medicines may needed to avoid discomfort while you fight with such obsessions. Masturbation should be done even you watch the porn. You can do it at other time when you feel desire for sex. You need to give time for sessions of CBT. Role of therapist and patient matters for effective CBT. For detail information you can read following links.
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Cognitive-behavioural-therapy/Pages/Introduction.aspx
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy
For a while I can recommend online CBT programme. These are basically for depression but you may get idea what is CBT and how to do it. It may help in your OCD. Just try it.
https://moodgym XXXXXXX edu.au/welcome
http://serene.me.uk/
Repeated noise/thoughts in mind are likely part of your OCD problem. It will come down automatically with treatment of OCD.
It will take 4-6 months after starting the treatment when you will feel optimum improvement.
Take care.
noise in head is part of OCD
Detailed Answer:
Hi,
Thanks for follow up.
In CBT psychiatrist/psychologist helps person to identify his/her automatic thoughts and faulty behavior which would ultimately be modified by person with active efforts and help of therapist. It also includes time management, daily sleep, meals and exercise timing.
In your case you are aware that you have to watch to the porn though you do not want to do so. You will learn to avoid or fight with the thoughts of watching porn in CBT. It is difficult but not impossible. Initially medicines may needed to avoid discomfort while you fight with such obsessions. Masturbation should be done even you watch the porn. You can do it at other time when you feel desire for sex. You need to give time for sessions of CBT. Role of therapist and patient matters for effective CBT. For detail information you can read following links.
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Cognitive-behavioural-therapy/Pages/Introduction.aspx
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy
For a while I can recommend online CBT programme. These are basically for depression but you may get idea what is CBT and how to do it. It may help in your OCD. Just try it.
https://moodgym XXXXXXX edu.au/welcome
http://serene.me.uk/
Repeated noise/thoughts in mind are likely part of your OCD problem. It will come down automatically with treatment of OCD.
It will take 4-6 months after starting the treatment when you will feel optimum improvement.
Take care.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Thank You Doctor. I will go through these links and do as you recommended.
One last question from my side. I have seen this in a few people around me and have experienced it myself to a little extent.
The thing I am talking about is general loss of interest in everything. There are people who just immerse themselves in work probably as an excuse to get away from everything else. Even simple activities like making casual conversations, taking groceries etc is like a burden to them. They dont enjoy movies, music, party or anything else. These people either work or "presumably" think about work all the time. This is evident from the fact that they appear lost and confused all the time. Its hard for them to keep with conversations as well. They have so little awareness that while driving they will suddenly get alarmed if a vehicle passes by or if traffic lights change suddenly. Also they get irritated very easily. When asked to make a decision they will postpone until the point they cannot delay any longer and then just leave everything on fate.
The people I am talking about used to be normal people but they are slowing turning into above mentioned profile. What can be the reason behind such transition ? Is CBT an answer to such behavior?
One last question from my side. I have seen this in a few people around me and have experienced it myself to a little extent.
The thing I am talking about is general loss of interest in everything. There are people who just immerse themselves in work probably as an excuse to get away from everything else. Even simple activities like making casual conversations, taking groceries etc is like a burden to them. They dont enjoy movies, music, party or anything else. These people either work or "presumably" think about work all the time. This is evident from the fact that they appear lost and confused all the time. Its hard for them to keep with conversations as well. They have so little awareness that while driving they will suddenly get alarmed if a vehicle passes by or if traffic lights change suddenly. Also they get irritated very easily. When asked to make a decision they will postpone until the point they cannot delay any longer and then just leave everything on fate.
The people I am talking about used to be normal people but they are slowing turning into above mentioned profile. What can be the reason behind such transition ? Is CBT an answer to such behavior?
Brief Answer:
These all are symptoms of depression
Detailed Answer:
Hi,
Thanks for follow up.
You have narrated detail symptoms of depression.
Sad mood, lack of interest in routine/pleasurable activities, weeping/crying spells, hopelessness, reduce appetite, excessive fatigue or weakness, lack of concentration, sleep disturbances, death wishes, suicidal ideas are diagnostic symptoms of depression. Irritability, to remain in thoughts and inability to make the decisions are also symptoms of depression.
If these symptoms are there since adolescent age and gradually increased it can be dysthymia or some kind of personality disorder. However when this appear in normal life it is depression.
Depression can be treated as I mentioned in OCD. CBT is also very helpful tool to treat depression.
If still any query there, I will be happy to answer if not, you can close the discussion and if feasible give your feedback and rating so I can improve my service.
In future if you wish you can contact me directly with following link:
http://bit.ly/drchintansolanki
These all are symptoms of depression
Detailed Answer:
Hi,
Thanks for follow up.
You have narrated detail symptoms of depression.
Sad mood, lack of interest in routine/pleasurable activities, weeping/crying spells, hopelessness, reduce appetite, excessive fatigue or weakness, lack of concentration, sleep disturbances, death wishes, suicidal ideas are diagnostic symptoms of depression. Irritability, to remain in thoughts and inability to make the decisions are also symptoms of depression.
If these symptoms are there since adolescent age and gradually increased it can be dysthymia or some kind of personality disorder. However when this appear in normal life it is depression.
Depression can be treated as I mentioned in OCD. CBT is also very helpful tool to treat depression.
If still any query there, I will be happy to answer if not, you can close the discussion and if feasible give your feedback and rating so I can improve my service.
In future if you wish you can contact me directly with following link:
http://bit.ly/drchintansolanki
Note: For further follow up on related General & Family Physician Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Answered by
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