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Suggest Treatment For Anxiety And Depression In The Elderly
Question: My 80 yr old Dad has anxiety and depression. He is always very concerned about money (although he is comfortable and has investments.) He's overwhelmed with housework (although his stress is self-induced.) i have offered to pay to have services done, . .he doesnt want me to pay. My Mom died 10 years ago. Im an adult only child (employed as a professional with a secure -- but stressful-- job in the human services field) and this stress is more than I can take. He complains about the world, his finances, etc. he wants to go over his insurance paperwork with me and discuss funeral arrangements. Hes in good health but I just dont need anymore stress. Please help and offer me some practical syggestions. Im at a loss. . .
Brief Answer:
Supportive psychotherapy for your father
Detailed Answer:
Hello
Thanks for using health care magic for posting your query.
I have gone through your question in detail and I can understand what you are going thruogh.
IN todays world of single child,such problmes are very common. Now you have mnetioned that he is already having anxiety and depression and in both these illnesses pessimistic thoughts and excess worry are very common. He may be on medication, but along with that he will also require supportive psychotherapy and cognitive behavioural therapy. These are taken up by a clinical psychologist who can give a patient hearing to your fathers problems and plans and also help him with his worry about the finances. He will find somebody to talk to and spend time with and get occupied with. Further the structured way of these therapies will help in correcting disotorted cognititions (thoughts) of your father and help him think more realistically. Also it will help him in his anxiety and depression.
Regarding your stress, long term stress is not good for the body even if you are getting paid well. Take out time for yourself and inculcate some hobby. It will be useful for you to maintain your health.
Hope I am able to answer your concerns.
If you have any further query, I would be glad to help you.
If not, you may close the discussion and if possible you may rate the answer for me, so that I get a good feedback.
In future if you wish to contact me directly, you can use the below mentioned link:
bit.ly/dr-srikanth-reddy
Wish you good health,
Kind regards
Dr. Srikanth Reddy M.D.
Supportive psychotherapy for your father
Detailed Answer:
Hello
Thanks for using health care magic for posting your query.
I have gone through your question in detail and I can understand what you are going thruogh.
IN todays world of single child,such problmes are very common. Now you have mnetioned that he is already having anxiety and depression and in both these illnesses pessimistic thoughts and excess worry are very common. He may be on medication, but along with that he will also require supportive psychotherapy and cognitive behavioural therapy. These are taken up by a clinical psychologist who can give a patient hearing to your fathers problems and plans and also help him with his worry about the finances. He will find somebody to talk to and spend time with and get occupied with. Further the structured way of these therapies will help in correcting disotorted cognititions (thoughts) of your father and help him think more realistically. Also it will help him in his anxiety and depression.
Regarding your stress, long term stress is not good for the body even if you are getting paid well. Take out time for yourself and inculcate some hobby. It will be useful for you to maintain your health.
Hope I am able to answer your concerns.
If you have any further query, I would be glad to help you.
If not, you may close the discussion and if possible you may rate the answer for me, so that I get a good feedback.
In future if you wish to contact me directly, you can use the below mentioned link:
bit.ly/dr-srikanth-reddy
Wish you good health,
Kind regards
Dr. Srikanth Reddy M.D.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Thank you, Dr. XXXXXXX My Dad will not get therapy or go to counseling. I've suggested it for years. My concern is how I can best deal with his issues. (Im in counseling myself.) What can I do? How do I handle things whem he starts complaining? Is there something I can say to him? How do I lessen my OWN stress? I realize that its difficult for an only child but I need some specific strategies, please. I need to know what I can do to help myself so his issues do not overwhelm me as they are overwhelming me now. Woukd you provide some specific things I can say to him when he starts catastrophizing or specific things I can do for myself? If I had a sibling, it would be so much easier but its only me. Please be specific. Thanks so much!!
Brief Answer:
You need help as well
Detailed Answer:
Hello
I can understand how difficult it is to handle such situations. I see many such care givers in my clinic who themselves have developed stress related depression and are under treatment. Following are the advice that can offer:
1) In most of the cases and as much as possible try to hear to them. They may not have an thing specific to complain or talk but they just want someone to hear to them. You may give as much time as you can while you are doing these. You need not put all your concentration while you are doing this. But you just give a "ear". many old people will be happy over this.
2) You need to be assertive in certain circumstances. There is nothing wrong in saying that although you feel that this thing is important, but you have some urgent work waiting and you wont be able to give time at present. In-fact you can tell him that you can be available at some particular moment.
3) You need to spend time with your family (wife and children) and also with your office collegues. May be some short picnics or breaks should be useful. Take up 1 hour everyday for regular aerobic exercises. That will help you in keeping yours elf fit and will also release endorphins which will keep you healthy and happy.
4) Cognitive behaviour therapy for you is a must. Many times we start relating that our inability to give time to our parents as equal to being a bad son. Although this is not true. This causes lot of distress and need to be addressed in these sessions. Please get these sessions regularly.
5) If needed you may also require to take antidepressants. Fluoxetine at 20mg will be a good antidepressant for you to be taken daily for 6-8 months.
Hope all these suggestions stand helpful for you.
Kind regards
Dr. Srikanth Reddy
You need help as well
Detailed Answer:
Hello
I can understand how difficult it is to handle such situations. I see many such care givers in my clinic who themselves have developed stress related depression and are under treatment. Following are the advice that can offer:
1) In most of the cases and as much as possible try to hear to them. They may not have an thing specific to complain or talk but they just want someone to hear to them. You may give as much time as you can while you are doing these. You need not put all your concentration while you are doing this. But you just give a "ear". many old people will be happy over this.
2) You need to be assertive in certain circumstances. There is nothing wrong in saying that although you feel that this thing is important, but you have some urgent work waiting and you wont be able to give time at present. In-fact you can tell him that you can be available at some particular moment.
3) You need to spend time with your family (wife and children) and also with your office collegues. May be some short picnics or breaks should be useful. Take up 1 hour everyday for regular aerobic exercises. That will help you in keeping yours elf fit and will also release endorphins which will keep you healthy and happy.
4) Cognitive behaviour therapy for you is a must. Many times we start relating that our inability to give time to our parents as equal to being a bad son. Although this is not true. This causes lot of distress and need to be addressed in these sessions. Please get these sessions regularly.
5) If needed you may also require to take antidepressants. Fluoxetine at 20mg will be a good antidepressant for you to be taken daily for 6-8 months.
Hope all these suggestions stand helpful for you.
Kind regards
Dr. Srikanth Reddy
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Prasad
Thank you for the suggestions, Dr. XXXXXXX I will start putting them into practice. The problem is that I am (unfortunately) single and living at home. That is why I am so overwhelmed by my dad's negativity and pessimism. If I had a husband or kids, I could invest myself in those relationships, which I hope, someday, to create. The death of my mom affected him terribly as it affected me. We both miss her. I just need to know what i can do if Im around this negative behavior every day. (Im not moving out. More stress.) What can I do or say to help myself? I feel powerless and guilty that my dad cant be/chooses not to be happy. What do I do? Thanks again for your feedback.
Brief Answer:
Two things that can be done
Detailed Answer:
Hello
The best way would be finding time for yourself. Although you cannot move out but every day may be you can take out time for yourself like go for a long walk to meet some body or make some jogging friends or something of that kind. However if the stress is too much then do seek a psychiatrist who can help you with this. You may need some antidepressants such as fluoxetine or mirtazapine etc.
Hope that was helpful,
Kind regards
Dr. Srikanth Reddy MD
Two things that can be done
Detailed Answer:
Hello
The best way would be finding time for yourself. Although you cannot move out but every day may be you can take out time for yourself like go for a long walk to meet some body or make some jogging friends or something of that kind. However if the stress is too much then do seek a psychiatrist who can help you with this. You may need some antidepressants such as fluoxetine or mirtazapine etc.
Hope that was helpful,
Kind regards
Dr. Srikanth Reddy MD
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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