Suggest Treatment For Depression And Anxiety After Sexual Abuse

Question: I've been married to my husband for almost a year.
We've been together 6 years.
He's had an ongoing problem with Depression and Anxiety, as well as some major anger issues. He's done a lot better, and made quite a bit of progress. He tried many different medicines, but the side effects were more harmful than the positive effects of the medicine. He takes Xanax occasionally, but isn't taking any depression medicine, and has been coping very well.

That was just the back story. I need some support for myself.
I've tried every way I possibly can to be supportive of him. I've tried talking to him in different tones of voice and being very patient with him, but it's wearing on me. I love him so much, and I want to continue to support him, but the more I do, the more depressed I feel myself.
There are many different examples I could give of this, but I'll explain only one now:
He has had problems showering in the past. He had a very rough childhood (including an ongoing rape from ages 7-12 by a family member), and his molester would torture him in the shower. He's told me stories of him coming in the bathroom and throwing stuff on him, or cutting the water off, or making a lot of noise etc. It has made him terrified of taking a shower as an adult. He doesn't always have an issue with it, but it's becoming a bigger deal nowadays. He hasn't showered in about a week and a half, and as you can imagine, he really stinks. I've tried calmly and politely asking him to shower, or asking if I can help in any way. I used to sit on the toilet while he took a shower, which seemed to help before, but now he's not willing to accept my help. He really stinks, and when he comes to bed, I love to cuddle him, but his smell makes me sad... like I'll be in tears while he's cuddling me because I hate what happened to him as a child. I hate it that even though he's not in an abusive situation anymore, he still has many issues from it.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm being run ragged from trying to help him so much. I want to continue our relationship 100%, but I don't know when my breaking point will be, or what that will entail.
I do all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry and all projects myself. He doesn't have any desire to help me unless it involves a new appliance or game.
Another problem I've been dealing with is that this year I found out that I'm unable to have children. My fallopian tubes are almost 100% blocked and I have PCOS. I've been having an extremely hard time dealing with it, because that is always what I've dreamed of: being a mom. My husband also wants children, but he is so much better at not getting his hopes up, or not showing that he cares. I feel like I'm broken and alone, and that I'll never be able to have 100% of what I want.
I just feel so alone, and I'll cry myself to sleep most nights. Please help me if you can. I don't know what else I could be doing.