Brief Answer:
WIN WIN situation

Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXX
I went through your description. I do understand the mental conditions you are going through. I really am feeling sorry for you, by heart.

I do know that any amount of consolation shall not be enough. I also know that other people always say to adjust to the situation. Your parents should be telling you to be patient and adjust, because they think "that is the job of a woman".

But I think in different way. As I know these above things, I know normal approach to the problem shall not work. Over and above, You must have tried every normal approaches to the problem.

Let me give you some general statistics.

1. After marriage, first six months are normally honey moon time. During this period, husband-wife conflicts are less. Rare during the first three months and countable during the next three months.

2. After the first six months, the differences start popping up.The reason is - two distinct personalities are compelled to share everything. The differences in personality, attitudes, behavior style everything could be different. That differences are everywhere. Pointing out at small things starts and builds up into quarrel, anger, rage etc. This period of individual differences, anger, rage, disappointment etc stretches upto three years from marriage. Reminding you-both are affected equally upto an extent and most of the divorces happen during this two and a half year period.

3. After the third year - The individuals in the family are more understanding, more accepting and forgiving. That they become mature in family affairs. If one is wrong in one way, the other in another way. They understand Quarreling, getting angry etc shall not do any good to the family. Most of the families do have children by that time. That hastens the healing process.

Over and above, both of the people understands that they are NOT SACRIFICING ANYTHING FOR THE SAKE OF THE OTHER, THEY ARE ADJUSTING WITH THE SITUATION, FOR THE SAKE OF FAMILY, PEACE, PEACE OF MIND. In that case, we are gaining. Both are in WIN WIN situation. You should keep this in your mind.

NB: These statistics are for general populations. Exceptions are always available.

So according the general pattern of statistics, your family is in the second phase. Because of the period of honey moon is over, the "newness" is over, differences do crop up.

Here Sex is the key. In a family atmosphere, however large the problem is, it shall be solved in bedroom with a passionate sexual union.

But if sexual bond is non-passionate, even small differences seems big and you become clueless.

You are not depressed clinically. You are just disappointed with your married life. That is normal. Disappointment leads to deep productive thinking. Productive Thinking leads to solid action. You are on the process.

The matters I wrote you here are enough for the time being. Because there are a lot to be told to you. You shall call me at 0000 after 8 PM XXXXXXX time tomorrow or the day after. Do not hesitate to call me. I shall help you and your problems shall be solved.

God bless you.

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Brief Answer:
I am sure that the problem shall be solved

Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXX
I am sorry for the state of affairs at your home. I do understand.
I am still glad that your fights are not a daily affair and are once or twice in a month affair.
Secondly, combine family is always noisy.
Husbands are worst hit because, if they talk in your favor, others shall say that you are the reason. If he takes the other side, still they say you are the reason, and you feel your husband is not taking care of you and leaving you without help.
You are feeling this because you are alone at the husband's house without support. But I am now sure, that your husband loves you and you also love him. He is trying to protect you from the in-laws clutches, and that is why he is taking their side. At least that is what your husband thinks.

Now I am sure that the problem shall be solved. Please call me.

God bless you.

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Brief Answer:
God bless you

Detailed Answer:
Dear, please you can call me tomorrow between 3 & 4 pm. God bless you

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