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Question: Hi,
How would you relieve the pressure ?
My wife has high blood pressure. she puts a mximum of pressure at home on me and my two children
We have evryweek an one hour and and half chat and instead of being a sweet moment it is an avalanche of grieves ; there are so many that I feel not well at the end of it ; here is just a quick recap from what I remember
- not enough money compared to my brother and his brother
- not supposed to work in the premises owned by may parents
- she does not want to work at all
- everybody tells her she is very well balanced
- insinuates this is not what others say about me : I am not well balanced accroding to what others ( who ??) say
- she is waiting as revenge that I got a big kick
- when I reply she needs help ( for high blood pressure and overweight) she says you are reversing the problems ; everything is fine with me and do not happen to have any issue I will leave you on your side
- gets the children involved; you see your father is not earning as much money as my brother so you can not go on always go on holidays, go to the best places...So how good I am and how not good he is .
- you are not a true man as you do not earn as much as my brither or your brother
Taking into account I do my best to find a psychistrist in my area to cope with deep underlying challenges in this relationship and why I am in this situation,what would be the good very urgent action steps to keep sane in this environment ?
Up to now , I keep calm and listen to her
I reply on a minimum basis and with my best reasoning. As soon as I can I do meditation, and sports ( walk and cycling) I eat healthy food, and I seek help by all means.
How would you relieve the pressure ?
My wife has high blood pressure. she puts a mximum of pressure at home on me and my two children
We have evryweek an one hour and and half chat and instead of being a sweet moment it is an avalanche of grieves ; there are so many that I feel not well at the end of it ; here is just a quick recap from what I remember
- not enough money compared to my brother and his brother
- not supposed to work in the premises owned by may parents
- she does not want to work at all
- everybody tells her she is very well balanced
- insinuates this is not what others say about me : I am not well balanced accroding to what others ( who ??) say
- she is waiting as revenge that I got a big kick
- when I reply she needs help ( for high blood pressure and overweight) she says you are reversing the problems ; everything is fine with me and do not happen to have any issue I will leave you on your side
- gets the children involved; you see your father is not earning as much money as my brother so you can not go on always go on holidays, go to the best places...So how good I am and how not good he is .
- you are not a true man as you do not earn as much as my brither or your brother
Taking into account I do my best to find a psychistrist in my area to cope with deep underlying challenges in this relationship and why I am in this situation,what would be the good very urgent action steps to keep sane in this environment ?
Up to now , I keep calm and listen to her
I reply on a minimum basis and with my best reasoning. As soon as I can I do meditation, and sports ( walk and cycling) I eat healthy food, and I seek help by all means.
Brief Answer:
You are doing right, continue the same
Detailed Answer:
Hello XXXXXXX
Thanks for your writing to us.
I gone through your question as well as some previous questions. You have been troubled due to your wife's attitude and behaviour towards you. But I can say because of good tolerance capacity of yours, you are still together.
Your problem can be best solved by a psychiatrist/ psychologist who can give at least one hour per session. You and your wife needed to be evaluated in detail alone as well as together.
The way you are treating her by keeping calm yourself and minimum reply to her is very good. The most important part is listening to her. According to female psyche she needs attention more rather than solution. Her nature of comparison to others i.e. your and her brothers is also common in females. I suggest you and if feasible she also read book titled, "Men are from XXXXXXX and Women are from Venus". This will help in your relationship. Otherwise relationship counselling and her counselling regarding frustration towards your ability are the main target.
Continue listening to her, your sports, diet, meditation and consult appropriate professional as I mentioned as soon as possible.
I hope this will help you,
I will be happy to help further.
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.
You are doing right, continue the same
Detailed Answer:
Hello XXXXXXX
Thanks for your writing to us.
I gone through your question as well as some previous questions. You have been troubled due to your wife's attitude and behaviour towards you. But I can say because of good tolerance capacity of yours, you are still together.
Your problem can be best solved by a psychiatrist/ psychologist who can give at least one hour per session. You and your wife needed to be evaluated in detail alone as well as together.
The way you are treating her by keeping calm yourself and minimum reply to her is very good. The most important part is listening to her. According to female psyche she needs attention more rather than solution. Her nature of comparison to others i.e. your and her brothers is also common in females. I suggest you and if feasible she also read book titled, "Men are from XXXXXXX and Women are from Venus". This will help in your relationship. Otherwise relationship counselling and her counselling regarding frustration towards your ability are the main target.
Continue listening to her, your sports, diet, meditation and consult appropriate professional as I mentioned as soon as possible.
I hope this will help you,
I will be happy to help further.
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Ashwin Bhandari
Answered by
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