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Suggest Treatment For Laziness, Poor Concentration And Lack Of Motivation

Posted on Tue, 18 Jul 2017

Question: My son, studied upto 10th std in KV, XXXXXXX Admitted to an integrated college (XXXX, Belgaum), since he was selected through talent search by XXXX. After admission, he asked to why to XXXX (wanted to be in KV). Again arranged for KV admission (after 3 weeks of class), but he was not in favour of change and hence continued. Gradually developed psychology, against XXXX. He had 9.4 CGPI in KV, but got 55.6% marks in PUC-II (12 std). He was not satisfied with less marks, wanted to cancel and sit for fresh exam in all the subjects. Although we tried to convince him to go ahead for the Engg (as per his interest), but he didn't listen and we accepted his demand (assuming that he'll improve). However, afterwards he did not study at all, failed in two subjects (in supplementary), reappeared (in those two after one year) and again failed in two. Now he understood he did mistake, wants to clear two subjects, but still wants high marks to raise overall rating. However, he was not studying. Spends time in TV, Computer, XXXXXXX Wants to come out these addictions, but not able to do so. I think, he needs motivation. We tried everything, providing food of his choice, gossiping, doing gardening (together), etc. Asked him to admit to Diploma and then to degree (Engg). But he is not interested. Wants a good college, good marks, expects very high fi thing. But not able to concentrate in his studies (also do not want to go to tutor). He does not have any girl friend. Only limited friend in boys (but not spend time with them even talking). He goes through full news paper, news in internet (national geography, inventions, cartoons, world politics, science fictions, games on cartoons). Likely chance of seeing some adult sites (possibly sometimes, may be in our absence). Request your advice, how to motivate him so that he starts studying. We are sure, as an intelligent boy, he'll be able to excel).

Answered by Dr. Psychologist K. V. Anand (10 hours later)

Brief Answer:
His attitude can be changed, for sure.

Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXX. I do understand. The situation is pretty grim.

The laziness he is showing now is not due to any serious psychological disturbance like depression but are due to lack of interest and because of habit. He has become habituated about being idle and using all those gadgets like XXXXXXX computer, TV etc. Even though you try to motivate him with the help of any means, the motivation could stay for one or two days and dies down. This is a typical situation of laziness.

I had come across many such cases. Especially in young individuals who are aiming high but are lazy and lack the correct path to go forward.

Psychological counseling and motivation are always good. But you also said that he is not ready to go to a doctor or a psychologist. This is also a common situation.

Do not worry. Usually motivation therapy and life style changes works. But you, being his parents, instead of supporting him, should be willing to take some hard steps. In my opinion, the parents are equally to blame. Please understand, I am not blaming you directly. I just say that some of your behavior (unknowingly) might have paved the way for your sons present laziness.

I suggest motivation therapy, life style changes as an initial measures. I wish to speak to your son. If he is not willing to go to a psychologist in person, we can always go for telephonic or video consultation. After speaking to him and understanding his attitude, I will suggest continuing measures.

In all, I am hopeful that I can change his attitude once for all.

Take care.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Arnab Banerjee

Follow up: Dr. Psychologist K. V. Anand (35 hours later)

Thanks Doc. for your valuable recommendation. We are also trying our best, but that may not be sufficient for the change. Sometimes, while encouraging him to concentrate on studies / or make a balance between study and modern gadgets, it back fires (from his side). So we also do it judiciously. But ultimately, time is passing..

Regards.

Answered by Dr. Psychologist K. V. Anand (2 hours later)

Brief Answer:
Please take decesive steps.

Detailed Answer:
Dear, you got it right. I would like to suggest that you should try to relocate him (alone) to another place with some reliable relative or friends. It is very clear by now that your wholehearted efforts of motivation will go wasted. Therefore taking strict and concrete measures could help. Please don't hesitate to contact me. Take care

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Nagamani Ng