Suggest Treatment For Low Libido And Painful Intercourse In A Woman

Posted on Sat, 2 Jul 2016

Question: Me and my girlfriend had sex a lot when we first started dating. About everyday or more. She then started on a medication for her anxiety (sertaline) because it had affected her life so bad and I supported her to do it because her doctor said taking it for about 5 months or so, may reset her brain (not exactly what doctor said but I'm sure you get the general idea). When on sertaline, she had zero sex drive and couldn't really get wet. We rarely had sex during that time. It affected us really bad. She came off the medicine around april. Since then we haven't had sex very much and recently she says that when i try and finger her and rub her clit, it hurts and/or feels uncomfortable. I used to go down on her but she don't like that anymore, and she used to go crazy when i stimulated her nipples and now she doesn't like that either because she gets no excitement from it. I used to leave her breathless and shaking and now i feel like she hates it. She says to go slow and easy so i do and stimulate her and have been using lube. I foreplay with her a lot and tickle n rub her back and massage her and kiss her to get her going. But it still seems like she's dry, and its painful/ uncomfortable when i rub her vaginal area or insert my finger. My hands aren't rough and have no bad nails. She said it feel better my penis is inside of her but it feels good, but only for a short time. I used to go for anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour when having sex with her and she climaxed frequently. but now, she said it hurts after a short while. I (male-boyfriend) am 26 years old and my girlfriend who I'm asking about is a 22 year old female. we are both active. Any advice would be appreciated! I thought about talking to her about seeing a specialist about this. but doing my own research right now

Answered by Dr. Dr. Chintan Solanki (1 hour later)

Brief Answer:
is there dryness, use K-Y jelly lubricant

Detailed Answer:
Hello,

Thanks for writing to us. I can understand your concern.

Lack of sexual drive can be due to sertraline as well as her depression. However it is reversible side effect. She has stopped the drug since more than 1 month. So we need to check that she is not in any stress now. If everything is fine, lack of lubrication is likely reason. I recommend using water based KY gel which provides enough lubrication without any side effect. If she is not able to enjoy due to pain, taking pain killer like diclofenac or ibuprofen before 2 hours of sex may help.

Even after this if problem persists, consulting sexologist(psychiatrist) as well as gynecologist will help to find out the cause and specific remedy.

Hope I have answered your query, I will be happy to help further.

Regards,

Dr.Chintan Solanki.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar

Follow up: Dr. Dr. Chintan Solanki (6 minutes later)

Thank you so much for the answer! I feel so bad that i can't help her right now. Its really hard because the sex used to be incredible and so intimate! She takes zanax from time to time for anxiety attacks. Lately, she has been sick to her stomach and threw up yesterday morning. but we haven't had sex for like a month or so before a few hours ago, so she's not pregnant. we have had some struggles lately in our relationship and are working on it. and she has been stressed with finishing up school because she's a teacher and she has a lot going on and is stressed from time to time. So is there anything specific in your opinion that I could do, in order to reduce her stress, so that it doesn't feel the way that she has explained it?

Answered by Dr. Dr. Chintan Solanki (2 hours later)

Brief Answer:
time is the solution,support her as per her needs

Detailed Answer:
Hi,

Thanks for more information.

She is under many kinds of stress. Her occupational stress, your relationship stress, not able to enjoy the sex all are significant factors and she is already on medicines. It is ok that you cannot enjoy the sex. In relationship it is happening frequently with many couples. You need to spend romantic time with her if she permits. Enjoy the foreplay maximum. Continue working on your relationship problem. I recommend not taking xanax from time to time. Rather go for specific medical or psychotherapeutic treatment, consult psychiatrist for that.
Time is the solution of such problems many time, ask her what kind of support she needs form you and try to provide it, not sex but love and care should be the points in your relationship. For her if inability to enjoy the sex is an issue it can also be solved when she will come out of the stress.

Take care.

Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar