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Suggest Treatment For Negative Thoughts Along With Alcohol Addiction
Question: I am a 32 years old male working in XXXXXXX I come from an average middle class family from a medium sized city in XXXXXXX I have been an average student in my academics but I was a doer then. I used to get up and do things rather than thinking about them.
I got a good job in XXXXXXX before 6 years and that is when problem started. Getting this good job for an average person like me was overwhelming. I was a so overwhelmed by this job that I got complacent. I use to take things for granted. I lost my focus and got indulged in other things like free internet, drinking. It is not the case that I was not a drinker before but I never lost my focus from my work(studies, job etc) and never quit trying. I was so much indulged in drinking that I use to drink alone. I lost all my social interactions with friends and relatives.
I got married, there were some clashes with my wife on trust issues and it increased my drinking again. It gave me an excuse and I totally lost my focus from work.. I wasted all my time at work doing some nonsense things(internet browsing, doing just assigned work and not learning anything new etc). Because of this I was rated low performer. I wanted to change job but as I wasted my time in doing nonproductive things, I didn’t have my technical skills up to date, I tried to learn these but I have lost all my confidence. Whenever I try to start learning anything new, I get shivers from inside that there is too much to learn and it is not possible to do it as my work experience is above 8 years and expectations will be higher. I get a feeling of fear that I have wasted so many years and I am nothing but a useless person. The “doer” inside me seems to be died. I have been doing meditation since a year and it helped a lot in building positive attitude in me. However I still have that inertia inside me.
I know what is wrong and what is right for me but somehow I am not able to act on it. Please guide me.
I got a good job in XXXXXXX before 6 years and that is when problem started. Getting this good job for an average person like me was overwhelming. I was a so overwhelmed by this job that I got complacent. I use to take things for granted. I lost my focus and got indulged in other things like free internet, drinking. It is not the case that I was not a drinker before but I never lost my focus from my work(studies, job etc) and never quit trying. I was so much indulged in drinking that I use to drink alone. I lost all my social interactions with friends and relatives.
I got married, there were some clashes with my wife on trust issues and it increased my drinking again. It gave me an excuse and I totally lost my focus from work.. I wasted all my time at work doing some nonsense things(internet browsing, doing just assigned work and not learning anything new etc). Because of this I was rated low performer. I wanted to change job but as I wasted my time in doing nonproductive things, I didn’t have my technical skills up to date, I tried to learn these but I have lost all my confidence. Whenever I try to start learning anything new, I get shivers from inside that there is too much to learn and it is not possible to do it as my work experience is above 8 years and expectations will be higher. I get a feeling of fear that I have wasted so many years and I am nothing but a useless person. The “doer” inside me seems to be died. I have been doing meditation since a year and it helped a lot in building positive attitude in me. However I still have that inertia inside me.
I know what is wrong and what is right for me but somehow I am not able to act on it. Please guide me.
Brief Answer:
Idle mind is devil's workshop
Detailed Answer:
Dear
Welcome to HCM
We understand your concerns
I went through your details. I suggest you need not to worry much. The description you gave reminds me of Bhagavat XXXXXXX XXXXXXX was totally desperate in his own negative thoughts, unable to do anything, disappointed and he pleads lord XXXXXXX for counseling.
Your case is also similar. According to you, you got a good job beyond your expectation, you took it for granted and lost your focus. Started drinking habit and became lowest performer. You said the "doer' inside you is dead. Fine. That is a fair introspection for a disappointed individual.
But, I assure you, all is not lost. You still have the capacity to work well and climb the ladder of success. "You don't have to learn swimming again and again". Once learned is learned. Human never forget what is learned and what is experienced. May be, some fine tuning requires.
Instead of keeping yourself busy in thinking about what happened in your past, why don't you just plan about your future and implement the plan. We come across so many incidents in out life. Some positive and some negative. We learn positive lessons from positive incidents. From negative incidents, we learn POSITIVE LESSONS. There are no negative lessons. Why do you want to think of negative incidents, when you had positive lessons? These positive lessons helps everyone to march forward with confidence. With these positive lessons, we know how to deal with similar situations, that gives us confidence.
You have drinking habit. Fine. so many people do have substance abuse problems. So what? Substance abuse can ruin you only when you allow such things to happen.
You are a victim of your own negative thinking. You did a good job in practicing meditation, but that may not be enough. There are several type of meditation and you have to practice the right one for your case, along with other psychotherapy techniques. Over and above, you should know your experience, learn from it, learn to accept that you have experience, and therefore confidence.
Follow these simple steps for a start:
Step 1 - Practice Deep and full breathing whenever possible.
Step 2 - Drink plenty of water and fruit juices.
Step 3 - A Tomato a day keeps anxiety at bay
Step 4 - Exercise regularly
Step 5 - You should practice positive suggestion technique. Find out the positive points of your career side and write those down. Repeat that in your mind whenever possible.
Step 6 - idle mind is devil's workshop. Keep yourself busy. You need to change your life style to keep yourself busy.
Step 7 - Stand in front of a large mirror and admire yourself. Talk to the image. Address him "YOU" and praise him for his all positive attitudes.
Follow these steps compulsorily. Contact me after 7 days. I shall provide you next steps of psychotherapy (CBT).
You need to stop drinking. Keep your self busy with career / family. You should not get time to drink. In the evenings go for movies, play with your children etc.
From your previous questions, I see that you think too much. Please understand. "Idle mind is devil's workshop".
Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications.
God bless you.
Idle mind is devil's workshop
Detailed Answer:
Dear
Welcome to HCM
We understand your concerns
I went through your details. I suggest you need not to worry much. The description you gave reminds me of Bhagavat XXXXXXX XXXXXXX was totally desperate in his own negative thoughts, unable to do anything, disappointed and he pleads lord XXXXXXX for counseling.
Your case is also similar. According to you, you got a good job beyond your expectation, you took it for granted and lost your focus. Started drinking habit and became lowest performer. You said the "doer' inside you is dead. Fine. That is a fair introspection for a disappointed individual.
But, I assure you, all is not lost. You still have the capacity to work well and climb the ladder of success. "You don't have to learn swimming again and again". Once learned is learned. Human never forget what is learned and what is experienced. May be, some fine tuning requires.
Instead of keeping yourself busy in thinking about what happened in your past, why don't you just plan about your future and implement the plan. We come across so many incidents in out life. Some positive and some negative. We learn positive lessons from positive incidents. From negative incidents, we learn POSITIVE LESSONS. There are no negative lessons. Why do you want to think of negative incidents, when you had positive lessons? These positive lessons helps everyone to march forward with confidence. With these positive lessons, we know how to deal with similar situations, that gives us confidence.
You have drinking habit. Fine. so many people do have substance abuse problems. So what? Substance abuse can ruin you only when you allow such things to happen.
You are a victim of your own negative thinking. You did a good job in practicing meditation, but that may not be enough. There are several type of meditation and you have to practice the right one for your case, along with other psychotherapy techniques. Over and above, you should know your experience, learn from it, learn to accept that you have experience, and therefore confidence.
Follow these simple steps for a start:
Step 1 - Practice Deep and full breathing whenever possible.
Step 2 - Drink plenty of water and fruit juices.
Step 3 - A Tomato a day keeps anxiety at bay
Step 4 - Exercise regularly
Step 5 - You should practice positive suggestion technique. Find out the positive points of your career side and write those down. Repeat that in your mind whenever possible.
Step 6 - idle mind is devil's workshop. Keep yourself busy. You need to change your life style to keep yourself busy.
Step 7 - Stand in front of a large mirror and admire yourself. Talk to the image. Address him "YOU" and praise him for his all positive attitudes.
Follow these steps compulsorily. Contact me after 7 days. I shall provide you next steps of psychotherapy (CBT).
You need to stop drinking. Keep your self busy with career / family. You should not get time to drink. In the evenings go for movies, play with your children etc.
From your previous questions, I see that you think too much. Please understand. "Idle mind is devil's workshop".
Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications.
God bless you.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Thanks a lot sir for the detailed response. I have quir drinking since more than a year now.
I'll start working on your instructions.
I practice XXXXXXX Samadhi Meditation. Any suggestion on which one I shall practise?
My rean concern or problem is - I run away from any challenging work or situation and wait for things to happen for me.
I'll start working on your instructions.
I practice XXXXXXX Samadhi Meditation. Any suggestion on which one I shall practise?
My rean concern or problem is - I run away from any challenging work or situation and wait for things to happen for me.
Brief Answer:
Learn to appreciate your self
Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
Thank you for your follow up
XXXXXXX Samadhi meditation is good. But, for your anxiety, Mindfullness for 15 minutes and Aviloma viloma pranaayaam is the best. 12 cycles x 3 should do the job. You can get directions for doing these simple pranayams from internet. In case of doubt, I shall clear.
Positive thoughts and positive attitudes are essential. You understand your past. Be aware of your positive experiences and then you are confident.
You run away from challenging work - That is natural for any amateur. Professionals are always passionate about their job and it takes effort to bring them out of their job. You should be passionate about your job. For that you need to love what you do. Enjoying your work is the first step, innovating is second and involving is third.
Salary comes third in career. First is self satisfaction and passion. Second is work atmosphere and culture. Third is Salary.
But if you cultivate passion, right positive attitude, automatically high salary package and success follows.
Believe me, You are on the right track. Just believe that you are on the right track and appreciate your self. Rest will taken care of itself.
Appreciate quitting drinking habit... shows your right path...
Available for further clarification.
Good luck.
Dr. K V Anand PhD
Learn to appreciate your self
Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
Thank you for your follow up
XXXXXXX Samadhi meditation is good. But, for your anxiety, Mindfullness for 15 minutes and Aviloma viloma pranaayaam is the best. 12 cycles x 3 should do the job. You can get directions for doing these simple pranayams from internet. In case of doubt, I shall clear.
Positive thoughts and positive attitudes are essential. You understand your past. Be aware of your positive experiences and then you are confident.
You run away from challenging work - That is natural for any amateur. Professionals are always passionate about their job and it takes effort to bring them out of their job. You should be passionate about your job. For that you need to love what you do. Enjoying your work is the first step, innovating is second and involving is third.
Salary comes third in career. First is self satisfaction and passion. Second is work atmosphere and culture. Third is Salary.
But if you cultivate passion, right positive attitude, automatically high salary package and success follows.
Believe me, You are on the right track. Just believe that you are on the right track and appreciate your self. Rest will taken care of itself.
Appreciate quitting drinking habit... shows your right path...
Available for further clarification.
Good luck.
Dr. K V Anand PhD
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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