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Suggest Treatment For Problem In Reaching Orgasm

Posted on Mon, 15 Dec 2014

Question: Hi
Im a female i just turned 30 this august
I've been married to my high school boyfriend .. We are so in love..

Before marriage we used to have some entimate time and sexy talk i used to reach orgasim .. I was a vergin so there wasnt intercourse before marriage

And now that im married for 1 year 3 months i had an orgasim once only

I almost never reach climax

And he finishes before me

Before when we had phone sex or fool around i used to get so in to the mood and orgasim

Now i dont know whats hapenning
Even when he kiss me or do anything i thin mentaly im not getting in the mood although i feel that o want to have sex
But i dont get turned on easily sorry for the lot of info but i dont get wet like when i used to talk by phone with him.. Is it because before i was vergin so there is no intercourse so he have to do all the things that turns me on

But now its like he is doing steps 1 2 3 to reach intercourse and then done

I dont know what to do

I checked myself if i masturbate if everything is ok and yes km functioning well
Its just that with my husband i dont reach orgasim
I dont know how to have this feeling again because its too hard to have sex and then u have to stop before u are satisfied because my husband is done

To be honest i fake it sometimes because i dont want to hurt his feelings
Because sometimes when he come quick he feels bad and blam himself

He also sometimes doesnt let me touch his private parts or make any sexy moves because he get so turned on and he dont want to cum before having intercourse

But its over a year now and i cant go to a dr its embarrasing for me to complain about this issue

I know its new to both of us and i can feel that he is better now he can stand more than before

But im still not satisfied and i dont know how to help myself

Without hurting his feelings

I also want to make sure if im ok or there is something wrong with me

Why im not having orgasim and how to have it

I love my husband but i dont know whats my problem

Answered by Dr. Chintan Solanki (5 hours later)

Brief Answer:
Husband to be treated,Need couple counselling for sex

Detailed Answer:
Hello ,

Thanks for writing to us.

I can understand your situation.I read your problem in detail.You have narrated very well information.

You are able to get orgasm while masturbation and while excitation during phone talk, this suggests you are physiologically absolutely fine.There is no problem from your side.

Sex is act of two. Situation of any one partner can affect other also.As you narrated that ,your husband gets orgasm before you get and you can not enjoy. In our medical language it is called premature ejaculation(PME). It can be due to performance anxiety or some stress or may be situational. Most of these cases are easily treatable.
Treatment has two aspects.
One is sex counseling. In couple counseling Stop & Squeeze technique as well as Master & XXXXXXX Technique can be learnt. For that you need to consult qualified sexologist/Psychiatrist in personal.I can understand your hesitation but it is the ultimate solution of your problem.
After evaluation of your and your husband if treating doctor feels, your husband can be given medicine for PME. It may be clomipramine or paroxetine., which is second type of treatment approach.

I respect your feelings for your husband. But you need to discuss the issue with your husband to solve the problem.Just ask him politely about your concern.You are not seeing her as guilty but to make your married life more happy, enjoyable and romantic , you need to go to doctor. As you and your husband love each other so well, I don't think there will be any major problem in doing so. I can understand your hesitation but you can try.

All the best.

I hope I have answered your query,if still any more queries I will be happy to answer.

Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Bhagyalaxmi Nalaparaju

Follow up: Dr. Chintan Solanki (2 days later)

Thank you DR for your reply .. I noticed something that sometimes when my husband finish the first time then takes a break and try for another time .. The second time takes quite a long time to finish.. Its just the first time that is quick.. Its not like when we first got married it was much faster.. Now its better .. But second time takes much longer.. So is this normal

Answered by Dr. Chintan Solanki (19 minutes later)

Brief Answer:
Yes it is normal

Detailed Answer:
Hello,

Thanks for follow up.

Yes it is absolutely normal. Semen production occurs daily. When frequency of sex is relatively less, there is accumulation of semen in seminal vesicles. When person does the sex first time after a gap of 3-4 days, there is fast ejaculation with normal stimulation. After first act, there is reduction in quantity of semen. In second act due to less semen, it will take more time to ejaculate. So it is absolutely normal physiological process. Same thing is happening with your husband.

If your husband does masturbation before sex, he can prolong ejaculation time during sex as I described above.
By doing this I think you can get orgasm and he does not
need any medicine.

Hope I have answered your query.
You are welcome if more queries.

Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Bhagyalaxmi Nalaparaju

Follow up: Dr. Chintan Solanki (11 hours later)

Thank u dr

I have a question does this medicine have effect negatively on pregnancy if we are trying to have a baby?

Also whats the difference between it and viagra?

I heared a lot of things about viagra that it could make a good start then the person will need more dosage of it and will not perform well unless he use it because he will get used to it

Answered by Dr. Chintan Solanki (8 hours later)

Brief Answer:
No they are safe from pregnancy point of view.

Detailed Answer:
Hi,

Thanks for questions.

No these medicines do not cause any effect on pregnancy. Medicine is to be taken by your husband and if pregnancy occurs it is in your womb, so no effect on baby. Even these medicines have no effects on sperms which are responsible pregnancy. They just help to improve process of sex.

Medicines I suggested are for increase the duration of erection/postpone the ejaculation while Viagra (sildenafil) is meant for making penis erect who has difficulty in erection.

Short and long term effects of Viagra vary according to age, physique and basic problem of the person. It is used to make artificial erection or make natural erection more severe. In your case, I don't think your husband have erection problem, he doesn't need it. If young person takes it frequently it may affect his natural erection capacity. So it must be taken after examination by a doctor and with prescription and medical supervision so if any side effect occurs, prescribing doctor can help.

Hope I have answered your query. If still any query there, I will be happy to answer. If not, you can close the discussion and if feasible give your feedback so I can improve service. In future you can contact me directly if you wish with this link: http://bit.ly/drchintansolanki

Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.

Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Bhagyalaxmi Nalaparaju