Suggest Treatment For Separation Anxiety And Fear Of Strangers In A Child

Question: My daughter is 2 years and 9 months old. She has a problem of stranger anxiety since she was 6 months old. We realized this when we travelled with her when she was 6 months old from XXXXXXX to our native place, XXXXXXX She cried continuously for 2 hours in the flight and refused to calm down. During her stay in XXXXXXX she refused to go to any unknown person and her interaction was limited to few family members only. As she grew up, she was very scary of strangers and refused to mix up with people. We took her regularly to the children’s park, playgrounds and residence of some friends. Initially she refused to play in the park. Even today, if she goes to the park, she prefers to play a lot but alone. She would not play in sand and or walk on any surface with mud / sand. She is comfortable only if the ground is cemented or tiled. We do our maximum to take her to crowded places and markets. She is very comfortable in such places but would not venture out on her own anywhere. She would stay close to parents. Now, we have put her in playschool so that she can increase her initial socializing. It has been 7 days in school but she has not settled down at all. She insists on her mother sitting throughout the playgroup time of 1-2 hours and does not let her go. At times when the playgroup people ask her mother to leave, she cries a lot and does not let anyone else touch her or calm her.
As a child, she is bright and learns and remembers things quickly. She has interest in books and when at home, she would open books and glance through them. She would also remember incidents as old as 1 year and learns anything told to her almost. She remembers rhymes and stories told her once or twice. She also makes stories on her own and tells us. Individually she is very good, but the resistance to get involved in a group is worrying us.
At the same time, I would admit that both me and my wife are also not great extroverts and limited in our social interactions. However, I would like to know if there is any medical issue with my daughter. It is not possible to even take her to a doctor as she would not allow the doctor to touch her or evaluate her.
Please help.

Thank you doctor. I hope this will not require any specific medical treatment or medication. I do not want to force her into things to avoid resistance from her to go to school. At least now she is happy going there but retracts into a shell once she reaches school and clings on to her mother. Also, she will be completing 3 years in September and there is a concern on delay in starting her education. She weighs 12 kgs now, so please advise if her growth is ok as per required milestones.

Dear Dr.,
Please find below the answers to your queries:
1. What is her date of birth (DOB)? - 17th September 2014
2. What is the birth weight and current exact weight? - Birth Weight was 4.2 Kgs and Current Weight is 12 kgs.
3. What is her current exact height? - 87 cms
4. Is there any family history of developmental delay? - No
5. Whether you or your spouse were underweight as kids? - No
6. When did the baby attain social smile? - 2.5 months
7. When did the baby roll over (at what age)? - 3.5 months
8. At what age did the baby sit without support? - 7.5 months
9. At what age did the baby stand without support? - 1 year
10. When did the baby start saying mama - dada? - 1 year 2 months

Please advise on what we can do to decrease her dependency on her mother so that she can stay without her mother for some time. She is still attached to breast feeding which we have been trying to stop but she insists on it at times.