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Suggest Treatment For Severe Anxiety And Depression
Question: Sir ours is a happy family with one daughter who recently passed 10th with studying good marks. I am a public sector class 2 employee with responsible and performance oriented post. My wife is also class3 employee of a central govt dept. We don't have much worries other than job stress. My wife is 41 years and myself is 47. My wife is actually a caring loving and decent woman and there is no doubtful behaviour from her since 17 years of our married life except some minor quarrels. Last 6 months back one day my daughter came and showed my wife XXXXXXX in which my wife was having some romantic texts conversations with her one male colleague. This was highly shocking matter for me and I fully depressed with this secret behaviour of my wife. I ve lost trust and faith in my wife. If I enquired with my wife she is lying and denying and giving false excuses. I even contacted her that rascal colleague scolded him and warned him for serious consequences. Meanwhile my daughter 10 th exams were nearing that's why I could not dragged this issue further and took high degree of patience and convinced my wife with love to not to go ahead with such type of illicit type of relationships with a married person which may be disastrous and affect two family. Even though with strong evidence my wife is not accepting her guilt and she is not showing any guilty feelings in this regard. After 17 years of marriage that too in adult age I m totally confused and I just cant discuss this matter with anybody only because of reputation. I am losing my trust and hopes in everything and health my job is seriously affecting and I am facing very bad days. I am totally confused how to convert my wife from her bad deeds. But I am keep watching her activities. But I hope she's not in contact with that rascal. But still having doubt whether she is maintaining secrecy. Sir I want to finish this mentally agony peacefully without any seperation and violence. My wife is basically good lady with good caring loving wife but I am still wondering why she lost her integrity and demoralised?? Worrying and serious matter is my daughter is disrespecting us and she is also having secret XXXXXXX chat with her male class mate which is following her mother attitude. What can I do sir.
Brief Answer:
family counseling/therapy is needed
Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for writing us again.
I can understand your feelings, frustration and anger. Whatever happened with your wife is not uncommon now-a-days. We used to get frequent cases of such problem.
In your wife there can be many possibilities that she is involved with someone else.
As you told that he is office colleague, it is possible that due to spending more time together at workplace they unknowingly came near to each other.
Other possibility is that fellow was unhappy with his wife and he has asked for sympathy to your wife and they came closer.
Though rare (as you told that you have good relationship) it is possible that your wife might unhappy with you and she got attracted to that fellow.
In all circumstances it is possible that they are just close friends and no more than that otherwise her attitudes toward you may have changed.
Only problem is that- she is not accepting the truth.
Solution of this problems are acceptance of her mistake by her, you forgive her and discussion with your daughter about her relationship with her friend. All can be possible only with a therapist. Your wife and daughter should be ready to consult. You should consult psychiatrist or qualified psychologist who can offer family therapy/counseling.
Your history suggests that you are much disturbed. You may have depression.
- Sad mood, lack of interest in routine/pleasurable activities, weeping/crying spells, hopelessness, reduce appetite, excessive fatigue or weakness, lack of concentration, sleep disturbances, death wishes, suicidal ideas : among these symptoms which are there in your case and since when? Please narrate briefly so I can guide you further about your mental health.
Hope I have answered your query, I will be happy to help further.
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.
family counseling/therapy is needed
Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for writing us again.
I can understand your feelings, frustration and anger. Whatever happened with your wife is not uncommon now-a-days. We used to get frequent cases of such problem.
In your wife there can be many possibilities that she is involved with someone else.
As you told that he is office colleague, it is possible that due to spending more time together at workplace they unknowingly came near to each other.
Other possibility is that fellow was unhappy with his wife and he has asked for sympathy to your wife and they came closer.
Though rare (as you told that you have good relationship) it is possible that your wife might unhappy with you and she got attracted to that fellow.
In all circumstances it is possible that they are just close friends and no more than that otherwise her attitudes toward you may have changed.
Only problem is that- she is not accepting the truth.
Solution of this problems are acceptance of her mistake by her, you forgive her and discussion with your daughter about her relationship with her friend. All can be possible only with a therapist. Your wife and daughter should be ready to consult. You should consult psychiatrist or qualified psychologist who can offer family therapy/counseling.
Your history suggests that you are much disturbed. You may have depression.
- Sad mood, lack of interest in routine/pleasurable activities, weeping/crying spells, hopelessness, reduce appetite, excessive fatigue or weakness, lack of concentration, sleep disturbances, death wishes, suicidal ideas : among these symptoms which are there in your case and since when? Please narrate briefly so I can guide you further about your mental health.
Hope I have answered your query, I will be happy to help further.
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Yes sir. But still managing myself with diverting my mind in my clients services office work. visiting temples praying god. Visiting beach and green places. Performing yoga. I am controlling myself. I am still behaving with my wife with love and respect. I believe love and affection is strong weapon to convert the people from bad deeds. I am very much thankful for your valuable suggestions sir
Brief Answer:
welcome
Detailed Answer:
Hi,
Thanks for follow up.
It is good that you are doing well with your spiritual approach. If you feel that your social or occupational life is affected with your psychological disturbance, you can ask for the help. Hope your family life soon will be on track and you all will live together with love and care.
Take care.
If still any query there, I will be happy to answer if not, you can close the discussion and if feasible give your feedback and rating so I can improve my service.
In future if you wish you can contact me directly on this site with following link:
http://bit.ly/drchintansolanki
by clicking on 'Ask me a question' on same page with three follow up questions.
welcome
Detailed Answer:
Hi,
Thanks for follow up.
It is good that you are doing well with your spiritual approach. If you feel that your social or occupational life is affected with your psychological disturbance, you can ask for the help. Hope your family life soon will be on track and you all will live together with love and care.
Take care.
If still any query there, I will be happy to answer if not, you can close the discussion and if feasible give your feedback and rating so I can improve my service.
In future if you wish you can contact me directly on this site with following link:
http://bit.ly/drchintansolanki
by clicking on 'Ask me a question' on same page with three follow up questions.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Answered by
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