Suggest Ways To Deal With A Broken Relationship

Posted on Wed, 14 Jan 2015

Question: Should I tell XXXXXXX that I cry a lot since he left and that I feel sad because he isn't here anymore or is that being manipulative? I was on another site and the moderator got nasty with me and told me that I shouldn't do that as it would pressure him too much but I really am not trying to manipulative only trying to tell him that we miss him so much....I am not sure now what to do...he is paranoid schizophrenic and it is so hard right now as I have no idea what he is thinking or feeling..I don't want to sound desperate or pressure him but I do want him to know that I miss him and am sad...is it okay to tell him that in a few weeks?

Answered by Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi (10 minutes later)

Brief Answer:
You can tell but not immediately

Detailed Answer:
Hello again

It would not be okay to contact him in recent future but after about 3-4 weeks you can mail him. As per my opinion telling him that you miss him, or you cry for him wouldn't pressurize him. Instead he should be aware of this thing. This is what I think, and this should have some positive effect on him. But please wait for the time we discussed because contacting him early may result in negative impact.

Also just hope that at least he will reply back once you contact him after 3-4 weeks. Even his reply will improve your mood. He is in delusional mood and we can't predict what he is thinking, most likely he still has persistent paranoid delusions.

Thanks

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Bhagyalaxmi Nalaparaju

Follow up: Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi (10 minutes later)

Thanks Dr Bishnoi..I wonder why those people thought that this was manipulative...I know XXXXXXX ..he wouldn't take it that way..thanks for once again putting up with me...I am not hoping for a reply exactly as he is so delusional but I sure wish he would as it would help me a lot...he is the one who could also get us to Israel if he would only come back to us again...without him we cannot really do it...why do you think he might reply if he is still so persistently delusional? I am just curious...why you think he might reply to that...

Answered by Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi (14 minutes later)

Brief Answer:
This is not manipulation

Detailed Answer:
Hello again, I hope you are feeling a little better now

As per my opinion this is not manipulative, to tell what you are feeling is not a manipulation but expression.

If he regain some insight in due course of time then we can expect his reply. We can hope for his reply but his persistent delusions are acting as setback for us. Still we are left with two options that is to wait and to hope for his reply.

I can't say with assertion because he is in delusional mood but still we should never loose hope.

Thanks, don't hesitate to ask a follow up question.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Ashwin Bhandari

Follow up: Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi (14 minutes later)

So if he doesn't reply what does that mean then? Will he always be this way or what? We used to be able to talk him out of it when we saw him face to face but that isn't possible now...he is scared and confused as well as delusional. I would remind him of the good times we had laughing and talking and how he told me he was deeply in love with me and how I miss him and cry that he is not there. I even thought of telling him that I am depressed and have lost interest even in learning Hebrew...he is a bit dense but I think that is because of his delusions and his lack of insight...his wife had to kick him in the shins and tell him that they belonged together he was not even able to know that on his own..he does need help with functioning and has had his identity stolen three times so he is not always aware of what he is doing..I wish I could help him if he would only let me....the court wouldn't have to know...

Answered by Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi (12 minutes later)

Brief Answer:
This would be his delusional behavior

Detailed Answer:
Hello again

He is having delusions and even if he doesn't reply we can consider this thing as his normal delusional behavior. If he doesn't reply, even then we have to keep our hopes alive. This is the best thing that can be done in present situation. We have kept a 4 weeks time to contact him again to give him some time to regain insight and to make his delusional belief weaker. As we discussed earlier also we have to progress gradually and we should hope that his clinical condition improves.

What I see in my clinic a lot of patients show decrease in severity of delusions with time. You can't contact him directly because of legal hassles, and this is a major hurdle in his improvement. Still contacting him gradually over XXXXXXX should do well.

Thanks

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Bhagyalaxmi Nalaparaju