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Suggest Ways To Manage Temper Tantrums In Children

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Posted on Thu, 27 Aug 2015
Question: My daughter screams on top of her lungs for every little tantrums she throws up.
how to help her calm down. we are not able to discipline her and we end up shouting at her ourselves and she has become a bit rebel now
doctor
Answered by Dr. Diptanshu Das (2 hours later)
Brief Answer:
You need to remain steady, understand the underlying psychology and do BCC

Detailed Answer:
Thanks for asking on HealthcareMagic.

I have gone carefully through the details. There are certain things that you need to understand first. Whatever we do, we do for a reason. We do it to achieve what we desire. The little child does not throw tantrums for nothing. She does it with an inherent purpose. She knows her tantrums will help her achieve something she is craving for and she knows are you are going to succumb to it. When you say that she has become a rebel, you just confirm that she is breaking the rules and she does so because she knows that she can get away with it. She knows that the tantrums are a very effective tool that make you vulnerable and help her achieve what she wants. If she does not get what she wants, all she has to do is to throw tantrums.

You have to understand the cycle and need to break it. The answer is not in the form of punishment. Even though you need to be firm, punishment will only make things worse. Rather, you need to depend on what is called positive reinforcement. It means that you offer a reward for her remaining tantrum free. It might not sound easy, and it is not. So, if you cannot do it on your own, visit a psychologist, discuss the situation, arrange for a family counselling and reorganise your dealings with the child in light of the understanding your psychologist imparts.

I have just been able to give you an idea. The rest will require prolonged interactions with your psychologist and behavioral modification both on your part and on the part of your child is the key. BCC stands for behavioral change communication.

Regards
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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Answered by
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Dr. Diptanshu Das

Pediatrician

Practicing since :2005

Answered : 3877 Questions

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Suggest Ways To Manage Temper Tantrums In Children

Brief Answer: You need to remain steady, understand the underlying psychology and do BCC Detailed Answer: Thanks for asking on HealthcareMagic. I have gone carefully through the details. There are certain things that you need to understand first. Whatever we do, we do for a reason. We do it to achieve what we desire. The little child does not throw tantrums for nothing. She does it with an inherent purpose. She knows her tantrums will help her achieve something she is craving for and she knows are you are going to succumb to it. When you say that she has become a rebel, you just confirm that she is breaking the rules and she does so because she knows that she can get away with it. She knows that the tantrums are a very effective tool that make you vulnerable and help her achieve what she wants. If she does not get what she wants, all she has to do is to throw tantrums. You have to understand the cycle and need to break it. The answer is not in the form of punishment. Even though you need to be firm, punishment will only make things worse. Rather, you need to depend on what is called positive reinforcement. It means that you offer a reward for her remaining tantrum free. It might not sound easy, and it is not. So, if you cannot do it on your own, visit a psychologist, discuss the situation, arrange for a family counselling and reorganise your dealings with the child in light of the understanding your psychologist imparts. I have just been able to give you an idea. The rest will require prolonged interactions with your psychologist and behavioral modification both on your part and on the part of your child is the key. BCC stands for behavioral change communication. Regards