Question: Dear Doctor,

This is regarding my 5 yr old son. From the past 2 months, he is refusing to go to school and cries his lungs out everyday. The attendants literally pull him inside.

It is becoming really heart wrenching for both of us (my son and us) to go through this everyday.

I have tried asking my son as to the reasons behind not going to school and he has given me a few like- too much to write in the class, teacher scolding them with words like (dont act like monkeys, naughty boy). I am sure these are meant to control the kids and not to be taken seriously. He also mentioned that the teacher hits him. We have spoken to the principal and she mentioned that they are against hitting children no matter what.

Inspite of assuring my son that everything will be fine and to not take it to heart, the situation is not improving.

I biggest worry is the effect on his mind and what if it turns into an emotional trauma for him.

Please advice on what I should be doing right to give him that confidence to go to school happily like the rest of the kids.

I am a working mother and I sometimes feel my absence might also be adding to his problem.

Here are the responses to your questions:
1. How long has he been doing this?
This has been going on for a few months now. I initially did not care much and thought it must be due to the work load at school and he must be feeling lazy to write.

2. Did it start only recently - that is with a new class or new class teacher or is it a persisting problem since his playschool?
Yes, this is happening since the time he is stepped in UKG..Its a new teacher too. He did cry at playschool too, but he got adjusted there.

3. Does he have any school going sibling and if so what is the age and did he or she face the same problem at the same age?
No. He is the only one.

4. How many hours do you as parents spend with the kid per day (in 24hours)?
I only reach home by 6.30 or 7 p.m. So, from the time I am there at home till the time he sleeps which is around 9 or 9.30/10. p.m. But its not entirely the 2-3 hrs spent exclusively for him as there is the household chores as well to be done.

5. Please write a time line based activity he does daily (like for eg- getting up 6am, brushing bathing etc by 7am like that) ?
Gets up at- 6.45 a.m
Drinks milk and eats a cup of fruits - 7-7.30 a.m
Bath- 7.30 a.m
Leaves for school at 8.15 a.m
Comes back at 2.45 p.m
Watches T.V for sometime or sleeps.
Homework - 6-7 p.m
Sleeps anywhere between 9 and 10 p.m


6. Does he have any other issues like - attention seeking behavior or temper tantrums etc?
Temper tantrums are there sometimes, but I see this as with any other child. So, I think its normal. But, what I have seen is his sensitive nature towards jokes/calling names etc.,. He gets angry and doesnt understand that its meant to be taken lightly.


Hope the information given is sufficient.