Question: I have a husband who is a sex addict, porn and m. , and an emotional affair. Just discovered he is an addict after years of my thinking he had worked on this and healed, but did not. So, through the years I have had to deal with him being distant, aloof, unavailable then back to available at times, moody and depression of his. I did not know what I was dealing with and reacted. I reacted by transfering my frustrations on others outside my family. I was looking like a basket case to my doctors, so now they are trying to say I am borderline - for which I am not impulsive, not risky behaviors and do not have any problem with being alone, do not have a sense of abandonment and do not have any problem with separating from him or even eventually divorcing him if he does not stay in treatment on a weekly accountability basis. This addiction creates anxiety within me, cause for high concerns since I am a mother of a 13 and 11 year old daughters we adopted. Adoption parents have higher standards to live by and my doctors are looking at me as if I am borderline, but I am not. If I have a mental illness, you cannot be a caregiver to adopted children. My oldest has separation anxiety and is autistic, high functioning and an auditory disorder with orthopedic concerns - legs growing at different speeds and growth & puberty delays. Our pediatricians did not diagnose or refer her out to specialist and I had to do research and get my daughter evaluated by an out of state international child psychologist who determined she has cognitive impaired, low dynamic intelligence, a variety of deficits neurologically and a disorganized attachment he claims is only due to autism variables. At hospital levels in December 2013 those clinicians reported that she did not have autism (but they weren't the specialist and have no training in high functioning spectrum nor auditory processing disordered children like she is). They reported against parents and said we didn't parent correctly and we were the blame for child's confusion in communications with parents (Auditory signals cause confusion where she either hears loud tones and becomes hostile, thinking the louder the tone, they must be upset OR, she cannot hear anything as if she is deaf which also creates frustration since it appears to others and even to us before we knew her brain impaired regions she cannot help, that she was not following our instruction). With the hospital they parent blamed and reported these parents will not be able to set limits now or in the future. I got her out of that hospital after letting them know she is regressed emotionally and is not feeling good and is very exasperated, rejectful of parents while in the hospital which is unlike her to that magnitude). Now, I have gotten her correct diagnosis charts and the hospital is asking for me to submit them. Do I need to give her medical charts to them? I don't think so. I feel as if they are wanting it so they can counter everything our evaluators are recording at present. Why else would they want these charts two years later - ? A foster care wing was the floor below where she was in an eating/psychiatric clinic where they said she had reaction attachment issues. My child does not lie, does not harm animals and does not have R.A.D., but she was MAD at parents since they told her
"your parents didn't know how to take care of you, so now we are - and she was very angry at them and also thought we had left her, she said "just like her birthmother did when she was born". Now years later we are establishing trust finally after more than a year of her being emotionally traumatized by hospital level clinicians who do not know our daughter. They have charted her to have self harmed herself, and she has NEVER, EVER self harmed - never. But she broke out in hives by the hospital foods and scratched her arm where it bled. I saw the allergic rashes on her back and arms. They reported mother was demanding to nurses that her daughter had rashes all over her body and demanded medicine for. I NEVER ACTED THaT WAY. They falsely painted a terrible mistruth about me. They falsely described my husband " sat too close to his child and was too affectionate with her"......they wrote we weren't attached, yet he sat too close is opposite polars of opinions and does not add up. They also did not report she had hallucinated and saw dozens of snakes in our yard when we moved. Transitions like moves of residences brings high anxiety levels and an imaginative mind full of fear for autistic children who don't like changes like that. OVERALL, I am very concerned about our daughters, since now they are looking at our youngest who has bug bites on her legs and arms during the summer. Am concerned now they will say she is self harming and report falsely. Also, have found two nurses (who are two witnesses) that I go shopping and spend monies - I don't, but I think they are going to falsely accuse me of doing this without evidence so they can claim mental illness of mother, is unfit to take care of child. For removal purposes. Doctors are seeing I am very stressed and reporting that. It is very difficult to be under the intense obervations of clinicians. There is more, but it is too much to write. How do I provide protection for myself. Do I stop going to all clinicians- ? And, I have gotten chartings where they deleted their comments, or their are sentences erased, left blank then they show information. They seem to know I know and don't want to see me in their offices - they are concerned for me to XXXXXXX since they are doing such false things and I am not blind to their methods. What do I do - ?