
What Causes Erection Loss During Intercourse?

I have certain confusions or issues, please help me to clarify them.Please provide your comments for the same as well.
1) In one night my husband is only able to have sex one time only that too the duration of that one sex is not 1 to 2 minutes., he said it take minimum 24 hrs to get ready for another sex .
2) Some time it happens that his penis get loosened in the middle to the sex process.
3) He always have to use his hand to make his penis tight enough for condom or sex.
4) He is always do oral sex very roughly before normal sex.
His weight is 95 Kgs.This information is might be useful.
Is all the above mentioned behavior is normal if not what else needs to be done.
Please help.
Regards,
XXXX
please see detail answer for your queries
Detailed Answer:
Hi XXXX
Thanks for writing to us.
Answer/comments of your queries:
1. A male can have second erection and ejaculation after 15-45 minutes of previous one. In male there is refractory period after ejaculation during which he is not able to erect due to laxity of muscles. However this period is not lasting for 24 hours, it varies between 15-45 minutes depending upon individual.
2. Sometime erection loss is normal thing. But it should be not more than 30-40% of total attempts.
Mostly it happens when person is in stress, is tired or his mind is diverted in other thoughts apart form sex and romance during sex.
Another reason is lack of intimacy between you ,less foreplay or lack of erotic/romantic gestures from your side as for erection sexual/erotic feeling in man's mind needs to be stimulated by female.
And one more reason is performance anxiety. If he feels during sex that he will be able to perform and satisfy you or not, his penis going to lose erection.
If there is no reason I mentioned above, he need to be evaluated for physical reason.
3. No it is not necessary that he needs to use hand every time for erecting penis enough. reasons which I told in above answer 2 can be applied for this. I think something wrong in the sexual method or some lack of sex skills.
4. Every time oral sex is also not necessary. However it depends on individual and answer for why he is doing so can be given by him only.
His weight is more which can be hurdle in sex. Tell me his height so I can tell how much weight he should have.
Ultimately you both should go to psychiatrist/qualified sexologist without hesitation for counseling regarding normal sex and your sex issues.
I hope you have got some clues. I will be happy to answer again if any query. Please revert back me with following information if you have more queries so I can guide you more specifically.
His age, Duration of your marriage life and love or arranged marriage?
Does he have habit of alcohol,tobacco or smoking?
Does he have any physical problem?
Education and occupation of both of you?
How much time you spend with each other in a day for routine talk, romance and also for foreplay?
If feasible please narrate how do you initiate sex, how it progress and how it ends in detail with at which point you face problem?
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.


What should be the solution for the first point.As other points we have to work out.
Please find below the additional information which you have asked.
His height is 5.9 .
My weight is 54 and height is 5.3.
His age is 29 , Duration of your marriage life is 10 Months and love or arranged marriage :- It was a arranged marriage?
Does he have habit of alcohol,tobacco or smoking? :- No
Does he have any physical problem? :- No
Education and occupation of both of you? we both are software engineers.
How much time you spend with each other in a day for routine talk, romance and also for foreplay? We hardly got any time to spend with each other as we work in shifts, romance and foreplay is just like 10 minutes before sex.
Weight reduction of him and time management
Detailed Answer:
Hi XXXX
Thanks for follow up.
For first problem reasons in my opinion is as follows:
His weight is 95 and height 5.9 suggests obesity. BMI is more than 30.His weight should not be more than 76 kg. So first of all he needs to reduce weight by doing regular exercises and changing diet quality, quantity and pattern. This much weight of course makes him tired after one intercourse and I think difficult to involve again sex act soon physically.
Another point as you mentioned in last paragraph is tight work schedule. Being software engineer I guess he has to work more mentally than physically. So he used to be stressed and tired after work and at home he needs sleep and enough rest. So he can not involve thoroughly in sex as you feel.
You also may be suffering from same work stress and may not be able to make him excited for sex again.
So discuss with him about the first issue in polite and comfortable manner. You can both work on that issue and solve the problem
And as I guessed right, for all your issues you need time management.
Ultimately work and money are not only the happiness criteria. To spend time , to care for your loved one and to understand each other are also important parts of healthy marital life. Just think over it and try to apply. Of course 10 months of marriage is not sufficient for this. Take your time. I hope you can and will do it.
If still any confusion, do not hesitate to ask.
All the best & regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.

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