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What Causes Low Libido In Men?

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Posted on Wed, 2 Nov 2016
Question: Dear Doctor,

I am a married man of 33 yrs old.
Wife is 25 yrs old
Pls share your thoughts on below 2 points :-

1) Is it right if we say that... "the sexual intimacy for men is predominantly driven by physical aesthetics of a woman, and the sexual intimacy of women is more based on emotions and feelings?"

The reason I am asking this is because, I am finding it very difficult to manage a good sex life with my wife.
I am predominantly influenced by her wearing good clothes of my choice (without which I can't really get the sexual urge).
She firmly denies to this tendency of mine, and this creates issues in our sex life.


2) I have been masturbating since approximately last 10 years... Regularly...almost once daily. Now, after marriage, I find it very difficult to get the sexual satisfaction with my wife without 2 things - The above mentioned point, and masturbation.
I still masturbate almost everyday as that is the only way I'm getting the proper sexual pleasure.

Note: long ago when I was 25 yrs old, I have had a healthy sexual relationship with my ex-girlfriend (although I used to masturbate even then).

A combination of these above 2 points is killing my marriage life.

Pls help.
doctor
Answered by Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (1 hour later)
Brief Answer:
Please read below

Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXX,
Thanks for using Healthcaremagic.

I read your query and understand that you want to have an opinion of medical expert on two of your behaviors in sexual life. I think I have to judgmental for this questions although I will try my best to have an objective opinion.

Regarding your first question I feel yes physical aesthetics of your partner are important (May be more important for some men) but it is not something which is gender based. What you said may find a place in skin magazines but this can not be generalized for male and females. I mean to say that everybody is unique and have their own preferences and dislikes. In my experience sexual satisfaction is result of mixture of multiple factors including aesthetics of partner, place, feelings, emotions and lot more. A person have dominance of one or another component and you have the dominance of aesthetic features above all.

I mean to say that although your statement may not generalizable for general population it is completely right to have your own preferences and your partner should prefer to respect your needs. Having said this it is also important to have respect for feeling of your partner. To conclude it can be said that yes this is right but mutual respect is probably bigger entity in relationships.


Regarding your second question I do not think I need to say anything else other than approving your masturbation habit as part of your normal sex life. I mean there is nothing abnormal to masturbate in married life provided physical demands of your partner met adequately.

I hope this helps you.
If you have any further query, I would be glad to help you.
If not, you may close the discussion and if possible you may rate the answer for my future patients.
In future if you wish to contact me directly, you can use the below mentioned link:
http://doctor.healthcaremagic.com/doctors/dr-ashok-kumar/67386
Thanks and regards
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
doctor
Answered by
Dr.
Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary

Psychiatrist

Practicing since :2000

Answered : 3350 Questions

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What Causes Low Libido In Men?

Brief Answer: Please read below Detailed Answer: Dear XXXX, Thanks for using Healthcaremagic. I read your query and understand that you want to have an opinion of medical expert on two of your behaviors in sexual life. I think I have to judgmental for this questions although I will try my best to have an objective opinion. Regarding your first question I feel yes physical aesthetics of your partner are important (May be more important for some men) but it is not something which is gender based. What you said may find a place in skin magazines but this can not be generalized for male and females. I mean to say that everybody is unique and have their own preferences and dislikes. In my experience sexual satisfaction is result of mixture of multiple factors including aesthetics of partner, place, feelings, emotions and lot more. A person have dominance of one or another component and you have the dominance of aesthetic features above all. I mean to say that although your statement may not generalizable for general population it is completely right to have your own preferences and your partner should prefer to respect your needs. Having said this it is also important to have respect for feeling of your partner. To conclude it can be said that yes this is right but mutual respect is probably bigger entity in relationships. Regarding your second question I do not think I need to say anything else other than approving your masturbation habit as part of your normal sex life. I mean there is nothing abnormal to masturbate in married life provided physical demands of your partner met adequately. I hope this helps you. If you have any further query, I would be glad to help you. If not, you may close the discussion and if possible you may rate the answer for my future patients. In future if you wish to contact me directly, you can use the below mentioned link: http://doctor.healthcaremagic.com/doctors/dr-ashok-kumar/67386 Thanks and regards