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What Causes Motherly Affection Towards Partner Leading To Lack Of Sexual Attraction?
Question: Hi,
I am a healthy male 28 years old.Since childhood I have always been sexually attracted towards women who in my view have a character flaw (they might not actually have the flaw) in some way (women who cheat in relationships,women who commit crimes,steal etc. ).On one hand I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with such a woman as it would be detrimental to myself, but on the other hand I find it impossible to be aroused by a good girl (good in my view) no matter how attractive she might be.I was in a relationship with a good girl for 5-6 years and I never felt myself aroused by her and finally had to end the relationship for no fault of hers.Another thing of note is that whenever me & my girlfriend tried to get close physically I always wanted to be a child to her and treat her as my mom rather my girlfriend thus preventing any sexual intimacy.I feel the same way for all good girls(I just want to act like a child and have them act like mom). I am thus conflicted within myself as I have reached a marriageable age & can't feel aroused with good girls(whom I would like to be with).
Please tell my as to why I feel this way and what if anything can I do to remedy my situation.
I am a healthy male 28 years old.Since childhood I have always been sexually attracted towards women who in my view have a character flaw (they might not actually have the flaw) in some way (women who cheat in relationships,women who commit crimes,steal etc. ).On one hand I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with such a woman as it would be detrimental to myself, but on the other hand I find it impossible to be aroused by a good girl (good in my view) no matter how attractive she might be.I was in a relationship with a good girl for 5-6 years and I never felt myself aroused by her and finally had to end the relationship for no fault of hers.Another thing of note is that whenever me & my girlfriend tried to get close physically I always wanted to be a child to her and treat her as my mom rather my girlfriend thus preventing any sexual intimacy.I feel the same way for all good girls(I just want to act like a child and have them act like mom). I am thus conflicted within myself as I have reached a marriageable age & can't feel aroused with good girls(whom I would like to be with).
Please tell my as to why I feel this way and what if anything can I do to remedy my situation.
Brief Answer:
Could be due to past problems in relationship with your mother.
Detailed Answer:
HI
Thanks for choosing Healthcaremagic.
Two things can explain your problem.
1. Problems in relationship with your mother in your childhood.
2. You might be having attraction towards men .
So to evaluate I need to know how was your relationship with your mother , father in your childhood ?
Also let me know how do you feel when you are around men ? Have you ever sensed any kind of physical attraction towards men ?
Also let me know how you ever watched porn ? If so did you feel exited or erotic after watching porn ?
Kindly revert back with these details .
Regards.
Could be due to past problems in relationship with your mother.
Detailed Answer:
HI
Thanks for choosing Healthcaremagic.
Two things can explain your problem.
1. Problems in relationship with your mother in your childhood.
2. You might be having attraction towards men .
So to evaluate I need to know how was your relationship with your mother , father in your childhood ?
Also let me know how do you feel when you are around men ? Have you ever sensed any kind of physical attraction towards men ?
Also let me know how you ever watched porn ? If so did you feel exited or erotic after watching porn ?
Kindly revert back with these details .
Regards.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Hi,
I am definitely not attracted towards men at all.
I don't remember being loved by my mother,she was always more concerned with me achieving good grades (which I did), she took care of me as in making sure I eat my food at time and study.She has always been the strict types as she is a working woman and is often pressed for time.I know my problem has got to do something with this, but I want to know specifically why has it affected me in the way that it has.
Yes after watching porn(hetro-sexual porn) I do feel aroused, but I subconsciously assign a negative persona to the female and it is only then that I feel aroused.
I am definitely not attracted towards men at all.
I don't remember being loved by my mother,she was always more concerned with me achieving good grades (which I did), she took care of me as in making sure I eat my food at time and study.She has always been the strict types as she is a working woman and is often pressed for time.I know my problem has got to do something with this, but I want to know specifically why has it affected me in the way that it has.
Yes after watching porn(hetro-sexual porn) I do feel aroused, but I subconsciously assign a negative persona to the female and it is only then that I feel aroused.
Brief Answer:
Its due to lack of affectionate motherly love.
Detailed Answer:
Hi
As suspected it is the problem in the relationship with your mother that is the root cause of all your problems.
Since you didn't get the affectionate motherly love in childhood , you are still searching for that in other women . The same problem has led you to have a negative persona feeling on women when you think of women sexually because if a women is good natured then you start seeing her as your mother .
So the solution lies in correcting your relationship with your mother.
Hence I recommend you to start spending more time with your mother, talk to her on general matters , family matters , go out with her to temple or mall or movies .This will make you feel more secure with your relationship with your mother.
Next you need to find a friend either boy or girl with whom you can talk about your problem. The discussion will make you feel that women can be good natured and yet sexually attractive.
In addition you need to get a counselling done by a psychologist personally.
Hope this information was useful to you.
Any clarification feel free to ask.
Regards.
Its due to lack of affectionate motherly love.
Detailed Answer:
Hi
As suspected it is the problem in the relationship with your mother that is the root cause of all your problems.
Since you didn't get the affectionate motherly love in childhood , you are still searching for that in other women . The same problem has led you to have a negative persona feeling on women when you think of women sexually because if a women is good natured then you start seeing her as your mother .
So the solution lies in correcting your relationship with your mother.
Hence I recommend you to start spending more time with your mother, talk to her on general matters , family matters , go out with her to temple or mall or movies .This will make you feel more secure with your relationship with your mother.
Next you need to find a friend either boy or girl with whom you can talk about your problem. The discussion will make you feel that women can be good natured and yet sexually attractive.
In addition you need to get a counselling done by a psychologist personally.
Hope this information was useful to you.
Any clarification feel free to ask.
Regards.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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