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What Does Abusive Behavior And Publicly Disrespecting A Spouse Indicate?

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Posted on Fri, 13 Oct 2017
Question: What is the pathology of an (ex)husband to feel the need to continually demonize his (ex) wife and desecrate the memory of the relationship they had rather than just ending the marriage & moving on from it peacefully with dignity? For example, being abusive and mean to her, making false public accusations against her, disrespecting publically her family without provocation, etc
Why be so dysfunctional about it when the (ex) wife is civil and quiet and does not react or provoke ever?
doctor
Answered by Dr. Psychologist K. V. Anand (7 hours later)
Brief Answer:
The reasons are given below

Detailed Answer:
Dear Axxxxxxxx. thanks for the question. I can understand.

In my clinical practice, I cam across these sort of cases several times.The Ex-husband's behavior pattern of being abusive, thrusting false public allegations, disrespecting towards his ex-wife could mean one of the following:

1. The ex-wife's treatment towards the ex-husband could be totally negative and during the married life the husband had to suffer a lot and all the behavior pattern he shows at present could be actually the truth. Not false allegations, the allegations are true.

2. The ex-husband is guilty of his own behavior towards his ex-wife and is now trying to conceal his own emotional internal problems, trying himself to safeguard his ego. this is a psychological defense mechanism called displacement.

3. the ex-husband actually trying to take revenge on the ex-wife because according to him, the ex-wife has tried or is still trying to degrade his ego.

4. There could be some external pressure with which he is forced to do so.

5. He is trying to showcase himself as an innocent person to the concerned people around him or the ex-wife, including the children, if any.

6. Certain personality behavioral disorders like borderline personality disorder could be another reason.

7. Chronic alcohol or drug dependency could be another reason.

Please go through the above reasons and try to identify the possible reason behind the ex-husband's behaviour.

For every reason mentioned here, there are remedial actions available. Take care.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Vaishalee Punj
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Psychologist K. V. Anand (3 hours later)
What if cocaine and alcohol addiction is present, why would it lead go this type lf behavior?
doctor
Answered by Dr. Psychologist K. V. Anand (8 hours later)
Brief Answer:
There is more to addiction

Detailed Answer:
Dear user. Thanks for the follow up.

Cocaine and alcohol addiction is associated with irritability, restlessness and paranoia. A person mid-binge can develop a state of complete psychosis where he cannot connect with reality.

But in the presented case, more than addiction, I suspect presence of one or two other factors from the list.

Take care.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Vaishalee Punj
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Psychologist K. V. Anand (26 minutes later)
How would Borderline PD play a role coupled with cocaine and alcohol abuse? Thanks
doctor
Answered by Dr. Psychologist K. V. Anand (16 minutes later)
Brief Answer:
comorbid symptoms

Detailed Answer:
When a person has both borderline personality disorder and trouble with substance abuse or addiction, they have co-occurring or comorbid disorders.

Because the symptoms of borderline personality disorder include risky and impulsive behaviors, as well as extreme moods or emotions, it is more likely that a person with BPD will develop an addiction or substance abuse problem rather than the other way around.

Rage. Instability. Mood swings. Impulsivity. These characteristics make people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) prone to substance abuse as well as over-spending, promiscuity, eating disorders and other compulsive behaviors.

Treatment required. Take care
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Vaishalee Punj
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Psychologist K. V. Anand (1 hour later)
What are some enviornmental reasons for the development of BPD
doctor
Answered by Dr. Psychologist K. V. Anand (11 hours later)
Brief Answer:
Prolonged stress, anxiety, hopelessness etc

Detailed Answer:
Dear Axxxxxxxx.
Thanks for the follow-up.

Genetic factors, Neurotransmitter imbalances, Hormonal imbalance etc can cause BPD.

Regarding the environmental factors, prolonged stress, anxiety, hopelessness etc can cause brain chemical imbalance and thereby BPD.

One possibility is that some people with a genetic predisposition for bipolar disorder may not have noticeable symptoms until an environmental factor triggers a severe mood swing.

Take care.


Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Arnab Banerjee
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Answered by
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Dr. Psychologist K. V. Anand

Psychologist

Practicing since :1993

Answered : 7324 Questions

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What Does Abusive Behavior And Publicly Disrespecting A Spouse Indicate?

Brief Answer: The reasons are given below Detailed Answer: Dear Axxxxxxxx. thanks for the question. I can understand. In my clinical practice, I cam across these sort of cases several times.The Ex-husband's behavior pattern of being abusive, thrusting false public allegations, disrespecting towards his ex-wife could mean one of the following: 1. The ex-wife's treatment towards the ex-husband could be totally negative and during the married life the husband had to suffer a lot and all the behavior pattern he shows at present could be actually the truth. Not false allegations, the allegations are true. 2. The ex-husband is guilty of his own behavior towards his ex-wife and is now trying to conceal his own emotional internal problems, trying himself to safeguard his ego. this is a psychological defense mechanism called displacement. 3. the ex-husband actually trying to take revenge on the ex-wife because according to him, the ex-wife has tried or is still trying to degrade his ego. 4. There could be some external pressure with which he is forced to do so. 5. He is trying to showcase himself as an innocent person to the concerned people around him or the ex-wife, including the children, if any. 6. Certain personality behavioral disorders like borderline personality disorder could be another reason. 7. Chronic alcohol or drug dependency could be another reason. Please go through the above reasons and try to identify the possible reason behind the ex-husband's behaviour. For every reason mentioned here, there are remedial actions available. Take care.