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My Daughter And Son In Law Have There First Child,

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Posted on Thu, 4 Apr 2019
Question: my daughter and son in law have there first child, a 3 month old baby boy. Healthy and beautiful. My son in law has what I call a "tough man" complex. With that he likes to make comments about how his son will be tough. A lot of what he says comes in a joking manner and he does like to get a rise out of me. I try not to say anything. I care for the baby while they are at work. Today my son in law came by and when the baby awoke from his nap I gave him to his daddy. Well, daddy likes to sway the baby around, hang him upside down and stand him up like he is going to walk, all the while making comments about making him tough. I am very disturbed by these actions. The baby is only 3 months old! What can I do?
doctor
Answered by Dr. Diptanshu Das (4 hours later)
Brief Answer:
A step by step approach needs to be taken

Detailed Answer:
Thanks for using the Ask a Doctor service.

I understand your concern. It might be difficult to counsel your son-in-law but you need to politely explain to him that we need to go one step at a time. First the child will be able to sit, then stand, then the child will start running. It is not possible that the child will start running before the child can sit. So, he (as a father) needs to hold onto things and be patient. Assure him that the child will be tough, but only when time comes.

As of now, let me assure you that swaying or even hanging him upside down for brief periods of time would not do the child any harm. Nevertheless, tell him (the father) that he is still a baby and his body might still not be equipped to handle the pressures as yet. Reassure him that with time surely the child will be able to handle any forms of stress, but now is not perhaps the best time.

If you present it in this manner, I do not think that it will appear to be a big deal.

Feel free to write back.

Regards
Note: For further queries related to your child health, Talk to a Pediatrician. Click here to Book a Consultation.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Vaishalee Punj
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Answered by
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Dr. Diptanshu Das

Pediatrician

Practicing since :2005

Answered : 3877 Questions

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My Daughter And Son In Law Have There First Child,

Brief Answer: A step by step approach needs to be taken Detailed Answer: Thanks for using the Ask a Doctor service. I understand your concern. It might be difficult to counsel your son-in-law but you need to politely explain to him that we need to go one step at a time. First the child will be able to sit, then stand, then the child will start running. It is not possible that the child will start running before the child can sit. So, he (as a father) needs to hold onto things and be patient. Assure him that the child will be tough, but only when time comes. As of now, let me assure you that swaying or even hanging him upside down for brief periods of time would not do the child any harm. Nevertheless, tell him (the father) that he is still a baby and his body might still not be equipped to handle the pressures as yet. Reassure him that with time surely the child will be able to handle any forms of stress, but now is not perhaps the best time. If you present it in this manner, I do not think that it will appear to be a big deal. Feel free to write back. Regards