welcome to health care magic! I have gone through your question carefully and from my clinical experience I can advice that you must see a psychiatrist. I can understand that it is a stressful situation but please donot take any wrong step/ decision which might harm you or your family. there are several cases like yours, with proper counselling, and may be along with medicines, one is able to decide for his/ her self in a confident way. The treatment will not force you to change your outlook to life but will help you in looking at the problem areas, and then make an intelligent decision for yourself. take care , Hope the reply is helpful for you. Dr. Manisha Gopal