You certainly can have sex even with herpes, I am so sorry that you feel so depressed about it. You should know that as much as 60% of the adult population has herpes, though many people may not know it. It is much more common to transmit while you are having an outbreak, but it is possible to transmit even when you are not having an outbreak. The way to reduce the risk of transmission is to take the medications, and use protection and only have sex when you don't have an outbreak.

Many doctors recommend staying on the medication every day, regardless of whether or not you are having an outbreak. If you do these things, the risk of transmission is very low. You should also be open with your potential partner about your history. You may be surprised how many people will tell you that they also have a history of herpes. If you explain to your partner what you have, and what you will do together to prevent transmission, you can still have a wonderful sex life. Herpes is rarely dangerous and rarely causes anything more than a nuisance and discomfort, so you should treat it properly, and you will still have a happy and fulfilling sex life. Talk to your doctor about any questions you may have, and ask if it would be right for you to be on regular daily medication.