Dear Dr. Sheafe,About a year or so ago, I began having difficulty reaching orgasm during sex with my wife, and now, while my wife still has no difficulty having orgasms when we are having intercourse, I usually am not able to ejaculate in her at all any more. I have read that delayed or retarded ejaculation, as I believe it is called, can result from bad masturbation strategies or techniques. Is this true? I don’t masturbate very much, but I do masturbate. If this is true, what could I be doing when I masturbate that would make it difficult to ejaculate in my wife? To confound matters further, about a month ago I was talking with a good friend and the subject came up with her, and although she’s married, too, she offered to have sexual intercourse with me to see if it made a difference. As it turned out, I ejaculated in her quite readily during our first act of coitus. Since then, she and I have had sexual intercourse several more times, and every time she and I have performed an act of coitus I have always had a full, very satisfying ejaculation in her vagina shortly after entering the woman’s genital with my penis. Since there is so much more pleasure and relief associated with ejaculating in a woman than there is through masturbation, I would like to be able to reach orgasm with my wife again rather than continuing to have extramarital sexual intercourse with my friend. I would appreciate any suggestions you can make,
Jerry