hello thanks for your query on HCM, have gone through your story.. dont be worried... dont be afraid.. nothing is wrong with you.. masturbation is a normal feature done by all.. you are not the only odd person in it.. it has no adverse effects on a mans body... it will not affect your sexual life ahead... but make sure that you dont overdo things and limits things as anything too much is too bad... do make up your mind and try to avoid seeing gay things... its not difficult... make a strong determination to bring a change in you... all will be well ...all is in your own hands... everything is possible... all will be fine.. wish you good health.. be positive... things will improve gradually...