HI i understand your problem .Let me answer your query one by one.
Your fears are real so is the risk-benefit ratio
yes,recurrence are very common in
kidney stones especially high when you are
stress from work, dehydrated, prolonged travelling
as far as i know xanex doesn't predispose to kidney stones
frankly speaking even i am predisposed for renal stone formation and had a 2 to 3 episodes in the past
so keep yourself hydrated all time drink plenty of water ,beer,electrolyte(potassium) rich fluids like tender coconut ,citrus juices (orange and lemon)
ovoid too much stress which is difficult i know.
AS you are symptomatic now kindly
consult a nephrologist as early as possible .
Wish you good health