My husband, age 88, had a second widening of the esophagus done 4 days ago. He has severe GERD and his esophagus and duodenum are severely inflamed. His throat is still very sore and he won't eat. If I give him water to drink or a meal shake (by the spoon full, one at a time), he coughs up and spits out a lot of the food and phlegm. He is probably dehydrating, has had no stool in 3 days, is too weak to get up by himself, wants to sleep a lot, and pushes me away when I offer to spoon feed him. He occasionally sounds like he is gagging. He refuses to go to the ER. What would you suggest I do?