Hallow Dear, You seem to have what we call medically as vaginismus. This is a condition wherein female is too apprehensive about pain during intercourse and reflexly contracts her vaginal sphincter which causes insertion of the penis more difficult and painful. I may suggest you following: 1. Firstly train your mind that intercourse is not painful experience and is pleasure giving experience. This will help you prevent reflex vaginal sphincter contraction during intercourse. Sexual counsellor may be helpful to you. 2. It is a good practise to insert finger before hand to dilate the vaginal sphincter and then insert penis when you are relaxed. Some lubricant may be applied to the finger. 3. During insertion, take deep breaths by OPEN MOUTH. This will prevent the vaginal sphincter contraction. 4. Wait till you are completely wet and aroused before the penile insertion. Penis should be inserted only after you demand for it. 4. Use lubricant which makes penile entry smooth and painless. Do not use oil based lubricants like oil, Vaseline, soap, etc.. They are harmful to woman s reproductory organs. Use only water based lubricant. Vaginal jellies are very good for this purpose. 5. Please get rid of the diffidence in sexual relations. You are going to be a successful wife if you adapt some mentioned instructions. I am sure this will solve your problem. Dr. Nishikant Shrotri