I'm a 13 year old girl and I over the past few months I've been really upset over the smallest and biggest things. I just look back at everything lately and it seems like nothing goes to plan, everything for me just goes wrong. For example, I broke my ipod, my guinea pig is ill and might die, I arranged a surprise party for my friend which absolutely nobody turned up to and alot more. I feel like I'm cursed or something. I know I'm not actually cursed but that's what it feels like. Most nights I cry myself to sleep and if I'm alone in the house I often burst into tears too. A couple times every week I consider committing suicide (I get so close to do doing it that I write suicide notes and everything) but I just cant bring myself to do it. This makes me think I must be worth something and I must have a purpose in life which is keeping me alive, but I dont know what it is. I just feel like I'm a failure and like I'm worthless and if I died the world would be no different without me. It's hard to explain how I feel really, especially without actually speaking to you. I haven't told anyone about this. I've wrote down how I feel and things but never talked to anyone about it. I don't know whats wrong with me. At first I thought I was depressed but I dont know anymore because this time last year my mum was depressed and I'm not completely the same as her. But maybe thats partly why I'm like this. If my mum was like this last year maybe I'm remembering it all and I feel like it's happening all over again, except this time to me. I wasnt really looking forward to the summer holidays this year because it just makes me think of my last one when I should of been having fun and instead I was taking care of my depressed mum. I could say so much more but I've already wrote enough I think. Thank you for taking the time to read this. xx