A recent thought has been driving me absolutely insane with guilt/shame as I battle to understand something I did as a child. As a 12-year-old, I babysat my neighbor s kids all the time. They were like family to me. I m a 28 y/o female now. For some reason, a memory was triggered recently. I remember being 12 and while changing the 2-year-old boy s diaper, I touched his penis to see what it felt like for a second. I remember immediately being grossed out. I can only assume that at that age, I was just curious but at the same time, I cannot believe I would think that was an okay decision to make. What on earth? As a side, I ve worked with kids all my life and never recalled this, thought twice about anything or had any weird thoughts like that. Remembering this event is making me feel like a terrible person, as if I m all of a sudden labeling myself and changing my own sense of self. I ve been struggling with this for two weeks now and I m starting to have a difficult time just making it through the day. I m starting to think that this has simply become rumination. Can I really feel guilty for something like that as a 12-year old child?