Dear Henal, I went through your query and can understand what you must be going through. From what you have mentioned, you seem to be suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Obsession are repeated thoughts which come to one s mid despite trying to resist them and in your case wanting to have a good thought in your mind is the obsession. Compulsion is the repeated performing of a particular activity in response to the obsession. OCD is amenable to treatment. You should consult a psychiatrist and initiate treatment. Medications like fluvoxamine or sertraline are effective treatment options for OCD. In addition you can also opt for cognitive behavior therapy with exposure and response prevention as a treatment option for OCD. With adequate treatment, you will soon be better. I do hope that I was able to help you. Best wishes, Dr. Sunil Gupta