Dear sir, . i m a girl who loved to have a normal life but got fell in evil.i was studying well was enjoying ma life before meeting my stupid far relation . she compelled to play wit me bad stuff. first, i opposed then cant . one or two annual leave she came.at end of my 5th std i told her to stop this and we hardly met each other later. but the guilty feeling stayed in my heart the thing is problem started there after i don know how it started i became addticted to masturbation. mostly i was left alone in my house during 6th - 10th.that lonely made me even worst each i will do n i ll cry and hurt myself .i was left out of control.i started avoiding people i was talkative before. spend my days with day dreams.simultaneously studies became worse 3rd rank became 10th in 6th std then 10 n 20 rank in 8th n 20 o 30 in 10th.i lost my best friend by possessiveness but she understands me well and i worried so much thati dont know what i was doing untill my 10th holiday.i was afraid i would die n the fear made so worst.i had two faces no one can judge me that i suffering this much. always be friendy with good one that saved me a bit. i must say abt my parents they r really gem i m very lucky to have them . my dad gave me everything advice me a lot many people of our society has huge respect over him i feel guilty and ashamed of being such worst daughter for them.i too want to belike my elder one who would share all secrets and lives happy( the worries can be said like misunderstanding bet friends got stolen ..) mine i have no guts to say i have never told anyone abt this. my heart is full of pain and sorrows. i ll enjoy a bit in school n cry in home hardly i would read . i got a lots of talent i knew got above 400 without reading in 10th but i reduced to do dream and stuff during my 11th got bit of control but in 12th i started dreaming more worse i got my own room. cheating my parents hurting myself .i get frustrated and i will search for persons to show my anger. my friend was also cheated me made me so sick.,i liked much she was a christian she changed me a bit unknowingly then again problem started she avoided speaking with me n everyone n became too close wit a stupid girl of our class.i didnt take it as normal.. my 12th also became bad .i want to change everything in coll i decided that i must enjoy my life . i joined in hostel becoming friendly with everyone reduced my anger .never day dreamed ,in hostel chatting more with roomates little bit freaked abt boys want to be friendly wit them . the hostel life changed me, taught me many things but the thing is when i come to home the internet temps me, i m loosing me i hate coming home i get changed a lot .i get spoiled.in college, i stated studing too. only thing is to share this and control this habbit . in coll too got kind girls accepted one or two boys in fb never chatted. this is right time to change . every one says collage life is heaven my school life ended in disaster i dont want my coll life to end like that. i want you to share ur thoughts and i told coz i have a huge respect over you n you inspired me a lot. .i want to be a good girl like others.you think i should consult psychiatrist. ..