I have some problems. yes I can admit that, about the only thing good that will be mentioned here. Also about the problems, i have also done research on them ( Just research, I do no KNOW IT ALL or have a degree)
Basically I want to know what to do, and if this may all be adhd, or if it could be independent factors for each.
FYI I have no transportation or access to any, I live in the country, Combine Tx, Google it lol it's 12 miles from the nearest city. Basically if i was to get help i have no way there or money or anything,,,totally screwed.
sooo ya... I'm open to suggestions.
1.Major depression - this has been going on for 10+ This effects jobs a lot I dont see a reason to life or to keep up the humdrum cycle that everyone else does. That's the shortest version of it.
2. ADHD - Diagnosed as a child, recieved treatment, stopped at age 13ish? I'm 25 now and ya, it's not fun. Impulsiveness effects jobs alot. Walk out, blow up etc. I also loose interest in anything in about 2 days or so. For ex, video games, guitar ( used to be my reason for waking up now i could care less) jobs, food. anything.
I space out in the middle of conversations, this is increasing in occurrence everyday.
3. Mild Anxiety issues - I constantly think people are looking at me when i'm in public, basically I'm really nervous in public because I dont ever want to look stupid. this effects jobs quite alot
4. Severe Anger - been going on since i was 13 or so. Now it's increasing alot, and i do mean alot. It' scares me.
I also have been taking my anger out on animals since 13 or so...it stopped for about 3 years from 18 to 21...but ya. Lets just say I haven't killed any since 17 :/ 6 died by 17 (domestic animals) Yes it's fucked up and i know it. Idk what to do. I can't think wheni'm like that, it's onlylater when i look back i fucking hate myself for doing it. But in that moment it's a thrill.
5. Extremely violent fantasies - been going on since 13 or so, imaginative people and real. And i like it too much for comfort.
6. Severe back pain and sometimes neck pain. Back pain becomes severe when i'm angry, which is alot.
7. anhedonia.
8. I also severely hate everyone and everything....
All 8 are very true, this is not some joke or troll post. I just want some suggestions since I cant think of a dam thing lol
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
JMW